To Live Is To Fight (#2)

Chapter 41

It's been 5 minutes of complete silence. It wasn't unbearable - yet.

What was I thinking when I agreed to this?

Case, you're officially an idiot.

I looked at Adam, feeling bolder for some reason. I stared at how his eyebrows were slightly furrowed as he drove past cars and how his eyes flew from the road in front of him to the sideview mirrors just before he switched lanes. 

'I've always envied his eyelashes' I thought as I eyed them from where I was sitting beside him. They were thick and long and they made his green eyes stand out. It's unfair really; I don't think boys pay attention to details such as eyelashes and yet it's like they're gifted with thick and long eyelashes anyways. It's such a waste if you ask me; why don't you just give them to someone who'd appreciate it more.

I watched how his lips were slightly pursed, his cheekbones slightly more prominent from getting hit by the sunlight, making his face look more angular and his jawline was simply enough to make any girl swoon. Or maybe it was just girls like me.

I was snapped out of my reverie when I heard him clear his throat, his eyes sent a fleeting glance my way before refocusing on the road.

"You do know this can get less awkward if you don't stare at me like that, don't you?" Adam pointed out and like I said, I was feeling bolder this particular morning so I simply shrugged and continued to stare.

"Why did you sign up for this awkward drive?" I asked curiously.

"No one likes a disgruntled Preston," he trailed off, as if there was more and I raised an eyebrow at him whilst tilting my head as a silent encouragement for him to go on.

Adam shifted in his seat uncomfortably before finally finishing what he had to say, "And I felt bad for last night. It was rude of me to walk out on you like that after demanding help."

I stiffened in my seat at the mention of last night, reminded of my decision to let all hope go over how Adam might one day remember everything and come back to me.

I silently nodded, accepting his explanation, before asking him softly, "So why did you?"

My voice was so soft, I think he almost didn't hear it but I knew that he heard me when shrugged.

"I guess I didn't want my relationship to be questioned and infiltrated by doubts," Adam said.

I felt arguments bubble up and I bit my tongue. I would be justifying his actions by putting up an argument.

The argument swirled inside me, clouding my thoughts and I imagined stuffing it into a glass bottle and trapping it in the bottle with a cork.

Instead, I reached out and turned on the radio to fill the silence between us and settled into my seat, staring out the window as the world whiz by in a blur. The car slowed to a stop at a red light and I could feel Adam's eyes on me and I resisted the urge to squirm under his gaze as I turned to look at him. 

"Well since it's already awkward anyways and since we have about another hour to kill, I want to know about myself before the incident happened," Adam stated aloud and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and he seemed to sense the hesitance when I didn't speak for a few moments.

"If you don't mind talking about it, of course." He added quietly. I shook my head, trying to stop guessing what he's trying to accomplish here and decided to ask him outright instead.

"Why do you want to know all this?" I asked him and it was his turn to furrow his eyebrows.

"Well, like I said to you last night; I didn't want to forget about anything. I felt like there's this piece of me missing and I'm convinced that if I somehow got myself to remember who I was before the incident, what kind of person I was, how I acted, then maybe I'll feel better," he ranted before sighing.