Dan Smith Imagines

72 → SOCIAL SERVICES VISIT

NOTES → This chapter is from Dan's perspective.

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ONE-SHOT → I watch my daughter while she happily kneels on the white carpet, playing with her monster-thing dolls. Every now and again I find myself having to look away. I'm scared that I might cry and break down in front of her again...she doesn't need that stress. Not now.

The more I think about them, social services, the more I regret everything. In the living room there's no other sound except Holly's imagination—of which the story is captivating. Apparently boy doll called another girl doll 'pretty' and his girlfriend is pissed.

Before I can crack a smile at how realistic this dilemma seems...the doorbell rings as I immediately gulp. My heart begins to beat ten to the dozen and I start to feel violently ill, this is all my fault. If only I actually thought of my little girl...maybe I really am the worst father in Britain?

"Who's that?" Holly cheerfully smiles, still holding onto both of the dolls.

"I believe it's your new social worker," Holly rolls her eyes backwards. I would've thought her old social worker would've gave up this case before leaving. I mean, I'm clearly fine. Plus I know that what I did was wrong.

What more do they possibly want out of me?

I'm much better now.

While the social worker impatiently rings the door bell again, I walk out of the living room and into the hallway. I then cough to get a clear throat before opening up the door; only to see a very familiar face. "Ruby?" I confusedly point towards the lady with the pink lip gloss.

I swear down she's Ruby.

Ruby Holland is my old university friend, well before she prematurely left for some unknown reason. The lady doesn't have the vivid red hair that she had—but rather long fake blonde hair. Her face is exactly like Ruby's, pale. Her eyes are also cartoon-like and blue, just like Ruby's too. I feel like I should technically should know if it's her or not since I had a massive crush on her back in the day.

"Oh my god!" the corners of her mouth raise upwards as she points towards me with her pale index finger.

"Dan...is that..no way?!" Ruby laughs, I nod my head head while biting my lip. I might've still got a slight crush on her. I'm not being creepy or anything like that, but she was the nicest person in the whole wide world. She made me feel good.

Especially when all of my other friends excluded me from conversations at house parties, Ruby always used to sit with me. We both made our own conversations and talked about movies, tv shows, and music for hours on end. Never did we ever run out of things to talk about...I missed her so much.

"Times change huh?" I embarrassingly point to her bleached blonde locks. Fuck knows what her real colour is, her face suits all of the colours of the rainbow. Ruby lifts her brown eyebrows up and nods her head slowly—the atmosphere is awkward.

"H-how do you know where I live? I'm not being rude or anything, it's just that I've got a guest due soon." I stutter at first trying to get the words out in shock.

It's a happy kind of shock, "have I got the wrong house? i'm social services..." my heart fucking sinks. I clearly was not expecting that. I look away in shame, and slightly nod my head.

I can't bring myself to look her in the eye...it's awkward.

Ruby makes that disappointed 'oh' sound. "okay...then..." she whispers unenthusiastically.

"I don't wanna be a pain in the arse...but may I come in?" I nod my head and stand to the side of the white front door. She walks into the house and stands outside the living room door while I lock the door behind her.

"You still wear that perfume?" Ruby awkwardly smiles slightly nodding her head up and down, she smiles at all the pictures of Holly on the wall. There used to be pictures of her mother, but I couldn't bare to see her face. I know that's fucked up...but it wasn't a pretty sight when I found her. I still wake up screaming her name...and it's been months. Maybe even a year...

"Where is-" she looks inside of her journal and scans for Hol's name, but I save Ruby the embarrassment and tell her by pointing to the closed wooden door.

"Holly's just through there playing with her dolls." Ruby gratefully smiles before she opens the door.

I'm beginning to really fucking hate this.

"Hol's, this is..." I cut myself off as I walk into the room behind Ruby.

I know this is embarrassing but I've totally forgotten Ruby's real name and now death seems better than this shit. God, I really shouldn't be thinking like this. Us lot at uni called her Ruby because of her ruby red hair. "Nina..." Nina-and not Ruby-kind of mumbles.

"I'm your new social worker," Hol's hates this just much as I do...so she just gives Nina a scolding look.

Nina then stays in silence while she looks around the living room. I guess she has to see if our living conditions are okay, i mean...these bastards are picky.

"I know this is awkward, Holly, but I've got to talk to daddy privately..." I stand up. There was no point in me coming in here, I forgot how much I hate the house checks.

However, Nina remains sitting much to my confusion, "actually, I think it's best if we stay in here while Holly maybe plays somewhere else perhaps?" Holly growls at that idea. She doesn't like other people telling her what to do.

Holly also hates being away from me, which is why I'm in the process of homeschooling her. Much to the social's dismay.

"You can talk about it in front of her. She already has seen too much-" I whisper feeling guilty as ever. Nina however frowns, herself looking a little upset.

"This is irrelevant but when I was looking over your case...your words honestly made me tear up." I shake my head, wishing that I could block everything that had happened from out of my head.

I feel stupid about everything I said or did...it was overdramatic. I wasn't sleeping or anything—the big bad world got the best of me. But the main thing is that I'm better now and I know I am.

"Why are you shaking your head? Come on man...don't do that, not to me," Nina drops her professional attitude and talks to me how she used to...as a friend.

"Forget that that said. I was missing her. But I'm better now. I'm very happy...aren't I, Hol's?" She better say yes. Holly fixates her big round blue eyes on me and nods her head shyly, before smiling.

"I don't want to ask this...but where's your mummy, Holly?" Nina tearfully asks while Holly loudly sighs, she hates answering that question or being reminded that her mother is gone. I mean I hate it just as much as her, maybe even more.

It fucking hurts.

"She went cuckoo and killed herself. She slit her neck...I saw before daddy covered my eyes." Nina doesn't say anything else she just looks back at the journal that she's just closed.

"Jesus fucking Christ." She whispers under her breath while hunching forwards...hyperventilating. I don't say anything except look away and push a few of my own from out of my eyes. There's more than a few minutes of silence, while me and Nina sober up and both watch Holly play with her dolls. It's better than talking, that's for sure.

"Can I use your loo?" Nina points towards me. I can tell that she needs an excuse to take a break...I do too. I might go and have a cigarette to calm my nerves down.

"Of course.." I scratch my forehead with my thumbnail.

"If you go up the stairs and it's the third door on your right." Nina stands up and politely thanks me before disappearing from the living room. In relief of not fucking up just yet I close my eyes...maybe it's best if next time my mum comes around. She's far more superior than I'll ever be in situations like this.