Love to Hate You • E.D.

twenty two

I make my way back to the gym, my heels clicking on the tile. When I catch sight of Ethan and his group, I light up. They don't notice me, but I figure I'll surprise him. That's my thought until I hear what they're talking about.

"Okay, you win. Scoring her, man, I didn't think you'd be able to do it. She's kind of a hard ass."

"Dude-"

"Oh yeah. Man, if you can score her my only question is, who's next?"

My lungs feel like they're caving in on themselves. I peek around the corner where they're standing, and Jack is handing Ethan what looks to be a fifty dollar bill. Tears climb up my throat, but I will them down.

"So this really was just a joke." My voice cracks when I speak up, now standing in front of my prom date with my hands gripping my hips in fear that I may collapse on the floor. The other boys just look at me with shocked eyes, but yet, I can see a hint of smirks on their faces.

"Ana-"

"You know what, E? You know your 'friends'," I put air quotes around the word friends, looking him dead in the eye.

"Do you realize how much they make fun of you and Grayson all the time when you're not there? They talk about it in class and they don't fucking shut up about it." I snap, looking at everyone but Grayson and Ethan with stern looks. I know mine could kill.

The twins stand there, stunned. Ethan looks more fazed then this younger brother.

"Oh yeah, they're such great actors, huh? Have fun finding another girl to wear this shit." I rip the corsage off my wrist, hurling it at Ethan. I rush out of the school doors, and that's when I realize I don't have a ride home. I'll just call mom, I'm sure she's waiting by the phone to hear from me. I take my phone from clutch, the lock screen a picture Ethan and I took only an hour earlier.

I take a deep breath before pressing my mother's number to call her. Part of me is hoping he will come out and beg for me to come back, but part of me doesn't want to see him ever again. The cold bites at my bare arms and chest, and I shiver as I stand on the concrete stairs in these god awful heels.

"Hello?"

"Mom?" I question, as if she won't be the one answering her own cell phone.

"Ana! How's it going?"

"C-can you pick me up?"

"Why?"

"Please. I'm outside." With that, maybe a bit dramatic, I hang up, looking around the parking lot and down the street. Fuck, it's cold out.

"I'll take you home." Ethan's voice breaks the silence. I look to my side to see his key ring around his finger, the corsage in his grasp. He isn't looking at me, but I can tell he wants to.

"My mom is coming to pick me up." I said, crossing my arms. I turned more away from him so he couldn't see my face. I really didn't want to be alone with him right now. He clears his throat.

"Ana-"

"You can't fucking do that to a person Ethan!" I snap, so much emotion in my voice that even I'm surprised.

"It isn't what you think Ana..." he says calm and soft.

"It isn't Ethan, it isn't?! Then tell me what the fuck it is! Tell me! Because I'm just dying to know." I can feel my throat burn as my volume increases.

Ethan can't meet my gaze and his face is hard. I can't tell if he is hurt or upset, or upset that he's been caught. I shove him.

"You gonna fucking tell me ball boy?!"

"You wouldn't believe me if I did doll face." He booms back, his eyes shooting up to meet mine.

"That's one thing you got right." I can feel my lip quivering.

"But will you at least give me a chance..." I scoff.

"I did Ethan. I did. That's what all of this was, a fucking chance! I gave you it, along with everything I had to offer, and you fucking blew it. All for what? A game? A bet? Was I just your jockey horse and all you wanted to see was how fast I'd run to you? Is that it Ethan?"

"No...it's not."

"Then what the fuck is it!" I screech with a stomp of my foot, throwing my hands out to my sides.

"It was a dumb bet! A fucking dumb bet Ana! I was dumb I wasn't thinking you would turn out to be this amazing, beautiful, caring, hot girl! I thought you would be a challenge! I thought you were just gonna play hard to get and we were gonna have a great fuck. Okay?! I fucked up, I did! But baby believe me when I say it was real, and we were the fucking best. And please, Ana, believe me when I say I do love you...I love you so much it makes me wanna be a better man."

I stood before him, my eyes wide and streaming with tears. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I couldn't believe that I was a bet and I couldn't believe he loved me. I couldn't believe I was actually listening to him and half believing this bullshit.

"You've fucked with me enough Ethan." I can barely get the words out.

"Maybe I did but you fucked with me too. I've never felt this way about anyone and the fact that it's you makes it ten times worse. I never thought I would actually give two shits about anything besides Vine, but now I do. I give a million fucks for you!" His face is strained with desperation, his eyes absolutely pleading with me.

"Ethan...I can't...I just can't. I told myself if I ever let you fuck me over I'd hate myself for it. And not only do I hate myself, but I hate you too Ethan Dolan." I sucked in a shaky breath.

"I fucking hate you." The words were nothing but a whisper but he could tell I meant them.

As if by an act of God my mother immediately pulled up beside me. I stood before Ethan a moment longer, both of us at a loss for words, before turning and entering the vehicle. My mother pulled out of the parking lot, not saying a word, and I never looked back.