Love to Hate You • E.D.

twenty five

I reach past him to grab the handle, forcing him to move aside while I slam it shut. With that I back out of the driveway, and the last thing I see is Andrea draping herself over Ethan, who as soon I blink, shoves her away.

The whole drive back home I cry. I cry and cry and cry. I blare The 1975 but it only causes me to cry more. No matter what I told him he would never be mine. He was already with someone else and after this he'd probably be on to the next girl.

Why did I think I could make a difference? Why did I think I could change him? A part deep down inside of me still clung to the idea that he still did love, that he did want me and this was just his way of coping.

But another part of me told me I was being too fucking hopeful.

This was Ethan Dolan. All he cared about was his fame, football, and getting laid.

Why did I even think for one second that I could make that list?

I glance in the rear view mirror to see Ethan's jeep behind me. I roll my eyes and then my phone begins to ring.

"Fuck off." I say into the phone as soon as I answer.

"Please just let me say something."

"Stop following me, Ethan."

"Pull over, Ana."

"No."

"Pull the fucking car over!" Ethan barks. Suddenly, I feel like I've become controlled by him. Right away, I pull over to the side of the road, ending the call. He pulls his vehicle over behind me, and he rounds the front of my car, beckoning me out. I swallow hard before opening the door.

"I don't have anything to say to you, I don't even know why I'm here right now, or I have no idea why I was even able to get out of bed today because-"

He kisses me. He kisses me so hard that I stumble backwards a bit, but Ethan grabs my face to steady me. I kiss him back for a moment before the image of him and Andrea flashes in my head. Her legs wrapped securely around him and his hands...I shove him away. With a scowl and gasp, I turn on my heel, get back in the car, and nearly speed home.

In that moment I would have taken him back I know it, but the image and him and her is too deeply burned on my memory. Of all the people in the world it had to be her.

That's why I didn't have many friends.