'You won't stay, I'm an asshole.'
That what he said to me that day. I just laughed at him and punched his arm. He couldn't be an asshole, he looked too sweet.
I asked if I could take him out for coffee. He refused. He said he had someone waiting at home for him. I said that didn't matter to me, I was only looking for a friend, someone to talk with. I never wanted anything more than that.
Until I did.
-
'You can leave. I don't care.'
'Yes you do, you want me to be here.' I laugh and grip his hand. He rips it out of my grasp. I laugh again and wrap his arm around my shoulders as we walk.
I invited him out for dinner. He said he had a date with his girlfriend. I told him I could wait until he was free for a night. He put it off for a couple of months until he agreed.
I made sure to dress up nice. I wore my best dress. He wore a plain shirt with ripped jeans, sporting blue Jordans.
I was upset. He didn't care. He said it was only a dinner as friends. I felt my heart shake and crack but I covered it up with a forced giggle and the best smile I could muster.
I paid for dinner that night.
-
'You should stop. we should stop. I have a girlfriend.'
I asked him out for drinks. He said yes for the first time. He said he was having relationship problems. I was excited.
We drank and drank and drank. We stumbled home, unable to drive. We laughed and giggled together like old pals.
I was so happy.
He took me back to his house. He walked up to his bedroom. I followed. He took off his shirt and I took off mine.
I knew we shouldn't do this but I didn't care.
'I want you,' he whispered into my ear. I let him have me, ravage me that night.
-
I felt the sheet being ripped off of me. Mark stood in front of me, his arms crossed. I could feel his angry from where I laid, naked.
His girlfriend stood a few feet behind him. She called me names.
Skank.
Whore.
Slut.
I didn't know what I did wrong. I was merely filling in her place temporarily. She wasn't here but I was.
I did nothing wrong.
His girlfriend stormed into the room. I heard the front door slam. I got up from the bed, nothing protecting my modesty from him. I held him in my arms, a smile on my face.
I leaned up to peck his lips, to taste myself on them from the night before.
He shoved me off roughly. I fell to the ground.
'I hope you're fucking happy! You ruined everything!' Mark screamed at me.
I didn't understand. I helped him.
I helped him.
He threw my clothes at me. He pushed me out the front door. He swore I would never see him again.
And I didn't.
---
For those of you who don't understand or are confused, this is a play on forced love. The character cannot grasp the concept that she is unwanted, that she is being pushed aside. She will do whatever it takes to love back.
Any mentions of sexual intercourse were COMPLETELY consensual.
