I pace in the bathroom as I waited, nervously biting my nails. The test that decided me and Mark's future waited on the cool marble of the counter.
Lately I've been waking up before Mark to spill my guts into the toilet. Mark just thinks I'm coming down with something. I haven't told him I missed my period this month or the fact that I missed a day for my pill. The day we got... active too.
I finally gathered enough courage to take a peek at the test. My hand clasps over my mouth as I resist the urge to scream. I back up until my back hits the bathroom wall. I slide down as I silently sob into my hands.
The text is positive.
What do I tell Mark? We've only been dating for about a year and a half. Every time I mention kids, he changes the subject or just completely ignores me. He says it's too soon for kids.
My legs wobble as I stand to my feet. My shaky hands opens the bathroom door and I walk to see Mark sitting on the couch on his phone. My heart pounds against my ribcage, beating so hard I wonder if he can hear it.
"Hey, Mark, can I talk to you?" I try to keep my voice from shaking.
"Yeah, sure," Mark answers as he locks his phone, tossing it to the side. Mark turns to face me with a smile on his face as I walk over to take a seat next to him.
I can't look at him. Instead, I bury my head in my hands once again. I feel Mark's hand gently rubs my back, his soft movements somewhat calming me.
"I'm pregnant," I cry out. Mark's hand stops and he doesn't say anything. He rips his hand away from me. I lift my head from my hands and I look up at him. His eyes are full of shock and anger.
"What?" he stands up, "You're kidding right?" Mark looks down at me with a hard glare and he clenches his fists, his knuckles unnaturally white.
"How?" he asks, his voice rising. I start to shake uncontrollably.
"I missed a day taking my pill. I thought I could double up the next day, but it didn't work," I whimper.
"How could you be so stupid?!" he yells. He throws his hands into his hair and tugs roughly. Mark starts pacing around the room, looking deep in thought.
"Get rid of it," he demands harshly.
"What?" I ask, shocked Mark would even say such a thing.
"Fine, you don't have to get rid of it, but you have to leave. Don't ever try to contact me again. I don't want anything to do with this damn kid." His hard voice sends a feeling of regret into my heart.
Mark grabs my shoulders hard, dragging me off the couch and forcing onto my feet. He doesn't say a word to me as he shoves me out the door. I let out a cry of pain as my tender palms meet the concrete. I look at my palms to see them speckled with blood.
I look back at Mark. Before he would run to me, continually apologizing. Mark would wrap me tightly in his strong arms and gently rock me side to side. Now he just looks back at me will so much hate and anger it hurts.
I thought Mark was the man of my dreams, my future. Now, I'll only ever remember him as the guy that threw out his pregnant girlfriend without mercy.
"Don't worry, you'll always have mommy," I say as I rest my hand on my flat stomach.
-
It's been four years since I last saw or heard anything of Mark. Blake sits on the living room floor as I sit on the couch watching the newest episode of Ellen.
"Today we have a very special guest with us. We have one of the biggest Let's Player on YouTube with over 30 million subscribers. Everyone welcome Markiplier!" Ellen announces as the crowd cheers and Mark walks onto the stage waving.
I sit there in shock as Blake crawls into my lap.
"Mommy, why does he look like me?"
I can't deny that whenever I look at Blake I see Mark. Many of their features are the same. He has the same tan complexion, chocolate brown eyes, and dark hair as Mark.
"He doesn't look like you, honey. You don't look like a monster," I say bitterly.
"A monster?" Black tilts his head in confusion, "He's a monster?"
"Yes, honey. Now go play in your room." I turn back to the TV to see Mark has sat down and is carrying a conversation with Ellen.
Mark hasn't changed that much. His hair and glasses are the same. He still keeps his stubble trimmed neatly. If anything he looks more muscular.
"So, there has been a rumor floating around one of your past girlfriends," she says and I freeze, "that you got a child running around somewhere."
He sighs, "Yes, that is true."
I quickly reach over for the remote and switch off the TV. Anger fills me. How dare he! Mark told me to never contact him again and here he is talking about me on television. I run my face and stand up. I need to get Blake to bed.
-
About a week after the Ellen incident, I hear a knock on my front door as I prep dinner for Blake. I stop cutting vegetables and grab a hand towel to wipe my hands on. I hear Blake's little feet hit the carpet as he runs for the door and peers out the window beside it. I follow him into the living room.
"Mommy! Mommy! No! You can't open that door! It's the monster!" Blake yells as he wraps himself onto my leg. I freeze but brush him off anyway, there is no way Mark is standing on the other side of that door.
"Don't be silly honey, it's fine."
I quickly walk over to the door and open it to a happy-looking Mark. Holy shit, it really was him.
"Hey (Y/n)," he says casually, like he didn't throw me out all those years ago.
Hey (Y/N)? That's all he has to say to me?
I huff angrily and cross my hands over my chest, "What do you want Mark?"
He looks at me with hopeful eyes, "Can I come in?"
"I don't think that's a good idea Mark." He deflates. Blake suddenly comes running to my side.
Mark crouches down, "Hey there little guy, what is your name?"
"Don't talk to my mommy! You're the monster from the TV!" Blake shouts as his little hand meets the side of Mark's head, though I'm sure it didn't hurt.
"Right Mommy? Monster!" Blake shouts once again as he points his little finger at Mark.
I nod my head, "Yes sweetie, monster." I look down at Mark with hard eyes. He looks stricken and regret flashes in his eyes. Marks sighs and stand up, brushing his hands on his jeans.
"Well, anyway, I am here for a reason, believe it or not. I wanted to ask you to let me in. Let me back into your life. Let me a father to our child." His voice sounds unnaturally hopeful.
My hand grips the doorknob tightly as I grit my teeth. "No Mark. That's not going to happen," I say, getting worked up, "You threw me out. When I was pregnant. A real man would have supported me. But you were a coward then and you still are. You can't just expect me to do anything for you when you didn't do anything for me."
Somehow during my rant, my hand let go of the doorknob and I was now pointing angrily at Mark.
"Please (Y/- ," Mark started but I cut him off. He looked like he was about to cry.
"Blake and I don't need you. You were gone for 4 years. Now if you excuse me, I need to finish making dinner for my child."
Tears silently slipped down Mark's face as I close the door gently.
"Thank you Mommy for protecting me," Blake says as he hugs my legs once again.
"Don't worry, Blake, you'll always have mommy."
