Looking At Us

17. cris

When I found Megan, she was paying for a muffin and chatting with Shain at the concession stand during break. Her hair was pulled back into a cute, messy bun and her eyes glittered. 

     I stood behind her and tapped her shoulder. ‘‘Hey.’’

     She turned and gave me a can of apple juice. ‘‘Hold this, please.’’

     I froze, my fingers turning numb. Shain laughed briefly, like, Welcome to my world. 

     Megan got her change and her muffin and then smiled at me, taking back her apple juice. ‘‘Hello, Cris.’’

     ‘’Hi, Megan,’’ I replied. ‘‘Are you ready for your challenge?’’

     Megan frowned like she wasn’t ready for it, but then Shain said, ‘’Oh! That challenge where he gets to take you out if he makes you smile the whole time?’’ 

     I suppressed a smile. Megan turned and said, ‘‘Just shout that a little louder, Shain, why don’t you.’’ 

     Shain grinned. I noticed a few strands of pink in her hair, which was most covered by her toque. 

     ‘‘Just being encouraging,’’ she said, shrugging. ‘‘Cris, you are so going to win. Have fun.’’ 

     Shain bounded off, and I looked at Megan. ‘‘Shall we?’’ 

     ‘’I suppose.’’ We started walking and she began picking at her muffin. ‘‘Just so you know, Cori’s extremely pissed at me, so watch out.’’

     ‘‘Yeah, she’s mad at me, too,’’ I said. ‘‘This morning I got a texted from her that said Don’t you dare make a move on her, asshole. You don’t deserve each other.’’ 

     Megan made a whoo shape with her lips. ‘‘Harsh.’’

     I shoved my hands in my pockets. ‘‘Extremely.’’ 

     We passed the ninth-grade lockers where Cori, Hadley, and Sasha were grouped together. As Megan brushed shoulders gently with me, swerving to avoid them, Cori said loudly and pointedly, ‘‘I’m going to kill someone today!’’ 

     I looked at Megan as we turned the corner. ‘‘She means you?’’

     She grinned nervously, but didn’t answer. 

     Kevin passed us and laughed. ‘‘Watch out, new girl,’’ he said to Megan. ‘‘Cris’ll get into your pants sooner or later.’‘     

     Megan frowned awkwardly. 

     I shoved Kevin. ‘‘Screw off.’’ 

     Later, after a full lap of the hallways (our school was shaped like a doughnut), Megan asked, ‘‘You have Home Ec. for your elective, right?’’

     ‘‘Yeah. That’s next period?’’

     She nodded. ‘’We get to make food!’’ Then she laughed, like she was embarrassed. She was exceptionally cute when she laughed. 

     A song popped into my head: Never Shout Never’s Can’t Stand It. Ironically, it was the song that had been playing while I drove Darrin home from Cody’s on the weekend:

     

               You, I saw you across the room,

               And I knew that this is gonna

               Blossom into something beautiful,

               You're beautiful

 

There was a beat in my fingers, something I hadn’t felt for a long time. 

     We walked by the grade nine hallway again, and I had a weird sense of déjà vu, or an impression of something, or a feeling of familiarity. Whatever the case, things rolled by like a comic strip: 

     Cori, Hadley, and Sasha noticed us; the air turned cold. 

     Hadley fingered Megan. 

     Sasha said, ‘‘Bitch.’’ 

     Cori pushed between us, thrusting her strength into our sides, and Megan clutched her shoulder.  

     Cori looked back. Her eyes were blue, blue, blue. 

 

               That holds all your memories,

               A lifetime of crushes and your broken dreams,

               To be anywhere but here,

               But baby, anywhere is away from me

 

We half walked, half ran to the next hallway, and I said, ‘‘I’m sorry about this. About whatever this whole thing is turning into.’’ 

     Megan shook her head. Small strands of hair were falling from her bun, making her look rather sophisticated and sexy at the same time. ‘‘It’s not your fault. She’s just jealous . . . I don’t think she’s gotten over you yet.’’ 

     Memories burst through my eyes, clouding my vision, blocking my thoughts, and Cori’s broken scowl blazed into me. Words crushing her. My words. 

     You said you would never leave me. 

     Her lips, that day, had been the color of candy. 

     I’m sorry. 

     Exquisite, luscious candy. 

     Dear God, help me. 

     The bell rang, and I looked at Megan. There was a smile on her face that was not self-conscious. 

     ‘‘Time’s up,’’ she said, and when I remained silent, she added, ‘’I won. You don’t get to take me on a date.’’

     ‘‘Because you had a frowny-face on the entire time?’’

     ‘‘Ironically, yes. Because I was depressed.’’

     I looked up, swaying slightly, licking my lips and closing my eyes like it didn’t matter. My challenge had failed, but that didn’t mean that I still couldn’t ask her out. 

     ‘‘I’m not done, you know,’’ I told her. ‘’I still got lots of tricks up my sleeves.’’

     ‘‘Mm-hmm.’’ She grinned like she wasn’t scared, but I could almost feel her heart racing excitedly. ‘‘Shall we go make some food?’’ 

     ‘‘I’d love to. Lead the way, Blondie.’’

     Megan whipped around, crashing into my chest. Her eyebrows were raised in a what-did-you-say-to-me kind of way. Looking at her, with our bodies so close together, I noticed that she was only a few inches shorter than me—four or five at the most—but that was still an accomplishment, considering how tall I was. 

     ‘‘Don’t call me Blondie, or I’ll call you Red,’’ she said, but it didn’t sound very threatening. 

     ‘‘Fine,’’ I said, because I really didn’t feel like being called ‘Red’. 

     Megan’s smile lit up completely. ‘‘C’mon, Red. Time for food!’’

     ‘‘Woof, woof,’’ I replied. 

     She laughed her adorable little laugh again and we headed to the Home Ec. room. On the way there, passing Cori, I stumbled and put my hand on Megan’s waist to steady myself, and I thought maybe—just maybe—I saw a flash of jealousy in Cori’s eyes, bluer than a freshly dug sapphire left carefully in a lover’s hands.