Looking At Us

19. shain

During Home Ec. our conversations—Megan, Cris, and I—were mixed with awkwardness, hilarity, fearlessness, and insanity. While I made the sauce and prepared the pasta, Megan and Cris flirted shyly with nervous jokes and tense smiles. Often their hands touched, and they would both grin, and Cris would say something to relieve the awkwardness, and I would smirk, and Megan would tell me to screw off.

     There is something truly comforting about being with friends who are falling in love. 

     Cris: ‘‘Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.’’

     Megan: ‘‘What the hell was that?’’

     Cris: ‘‘That was the quote from my sister’s water bottle. Don’t judge.’’

     Me: ‘‘Who’s your sister?’’

     Cris: ‘‘Which one?’’

     Me: ‘‘Either one. I don’t know.’’

     Cris: ‘‘Sara’s the oldest, and Emily’s a year old than me. She hangs out with your sister, right, Megan?’’

     Megan: ‘‘Yes. She does.’’ 

     Me: ‘‘And Darrin’s your brother . . .’’

     Cris: ‘‘And so is Troy. He’s older than Emily but younger than Sara.’’

     Me: ‘‘You are confusing me very much.’’ 

     Cris: ‘‘It’s a talent.’’

     Sasha: ‘‘Goddammit, Darrin!’’

     The whole class looked at her: Sasha Hawk, wearing a slim shirt, leggings, and a frown on her face. Darrin, sitting inches from her, was frowning, too, and I decided not to get involved. 

     On my far left, Erick was staring at Sasha, but not in desire. More like, Is she talking about me? His dark hair was swept attractively across his face, and his green eyes lustrous. I wished I had his number so that I could call him. 

     At the kitchen in front of us, a boy called Zaque (pronounced ZAH-kay) smirked and turned to face us. I was pretty sure he was in Cris’s grade. 

     ‘‘Damn, that girl’s fine,’’ Zaque said. His hair was long, ebony, and shaggy. His eyes were the color of Granny Smith apples. 

     Cris looked at him. ‘‘She has a boyfriend.’’

     ‘‘Your brother,’’ Zaque said.

     ‘‘Yes,’’ Cris said. 

     Zaque pursed his lips, then looked at Megan. I saw Cris frown, looking uncomfortable about his friend flirting with Megan (his soon-to-be girlfriend, in my opinion, but I wasn’t going to say anything) and not being able to say anything without making things awkward. 

     ‘‘Hey,’’ Zaque said. ‘‘I’m Zaque.’’

     ‘‘And I’m not interested,’’ Megan replied. I gave her a high-five, like, Score!

     Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Sasha making her way towards Erick, swinging her hips and making the guys stare, especially Zaque. His thick eyebrows raised, and he mumbled, ‘‘Holy shit.’’

     ‘‘Perv,’’ Cris said quietly. 

     I stirred my sauce distractedly, watching Erick stare at Sasha like she was the best thing since sliced bread, his eyes wide with admiration. Why couldn’t he stare at me like that?

     Erick said something, and Sasha said something, and then Erick followed Sasha out the door into the hallway. I seriously wanted to check on him and make sure Sasha wasn’t going to start seducing him or something, but Mrs. Kaen passed us and I knew I couldn’t just run out after them. Besides, next to Sasha, I was dirt. Next to Erick, I was the creepy tomboy stalker. 

     ‘‘Always be yourself,’’ Cris murmured. 

     ‘‘Unless you can be a unicorn,’’ Megan added quietly. 

     They spoke in unison: ‘‘Then always be a unicorn.’’ Their eyes bore into each other, unblinking, undetachable. 

     For a moment, I forgot about Erick and Sasha and everything else, and I watched Megan and Cris, knowing that I was observing two people falling into each other’s hearts.