Looking At Us

21. megan

That night, the first threats came. 

     It was almost like a message: after school, I passed Cori in the hallway and she snarled, ‘‘Watch yourself tonight, bitch.’’ And then, at ten twenty-four p.m., I got the first threat in my texts.

     They were all from Hadley Strong. 

     I had no idea how she got my number, though I suspected Cori was involved, and possibly Sasha. After babysitting Jari for a few hours, I crawled into bed, shut off the lights, watched Gossip Girl for a bit, and then started texting people. 

     I talked to Liam—Shain’s best friend who had moved to Australia fourteen months ago, but since Shain didn’t have a phone, I got to talk to him instead—for a few minutes before he said he had to go to school (time is so much different in Australia than in Canada). 

     Liam: I got a girlfriend. Don’t tell Shain. 

     Me: Brilliant. I might have a boyfriend. 

     Liam: Oooohh!!! 

     I tried texting Cris, but he wouldn’t answer. It was a Tuesday. As far as I knew, he didn’t have any sports or music lessons going on, he wasn’t gone for a doctor/dentist/whatever appointment. Maybe his phone was off. Maybe he was out somewhere with Darrin or someone like Kevin or Zaque . . . 

     My phone buzzed. I picked it up excitedly. 

     You better watch your dick-sucking mouth, you little bitch. 

     I blinked. The number was unfamiliar, so I typed: Who is this?

     And I got: Hadley. 

     Shit. 

     Another text from Hadley: Don't you ever hurt Cori like that again or we’re going to seriously have an issue. You also should probably stop being such a terrible friend and stop talking to Cris, you little whore. You know Cori still has feelings for him, and you’re doing this to hurt her?

     My heart choked up. I hadn’t been bullied like this for a long time, not since fifth grade. So I tried to be brave:

     Please don’t talk to me ever again. Your threats don’t scare me. 

     Hadley texted back minutes later: I will do whatever the hell I want, bitch. 

     I wanted to click the ‘block’ button on my phone, but her texts kept coming in like bullets, right at me, straight through my heart, sending me to a new personal hell. 

     Could you be any damn ruder, you little dick-sucking whore? You better watch your back, if you ever say anything to Cori that even sits in the context of you ‘’understand why Cori broke up with her again’’ shit will go down. Cori is a waaaayyy better person than you will ever be, so suck my dick you stupid bitch . . . 

     I said: You’re not going to do anything. 

     Hadley: That’s what you think, sweetheart. 

     Me: I can stop you. 

     Hadley: Can ya? 

     Me: Yep. That’s what the ‘block’ button’s for. 

     Hadley: What about school? Can’t block me there. 

     Me: Yes, but there are adults and witnesses there. 

     Hadley: You’re fricken’ scared, you slut. I can get involved in what I want to. I have friends to back me up as well. What are you gonna do now?

     Me: Ignore you, easy as that.

     Hadley: Good luck with that. 

     After that, I blocked her, and I showed my mom the texts. Harper, sitting on the couch with a book in her hands and Pico in her lap, said, ‘’Oh my God,’’ like she knew what I was getting into. 

     Mom said, ‘‘Just keep her blocked, and if it gets worse, we’ll take it to the school. And the police, if necessary.’’

     ‘‘Mom.’’ I was close to tears. ‘’I don’t like getting involved in these kind of things. If we have to call the police . . .’’

     Mom put an arm around my shoulders, but I forced myself to keep the tears in. ‘’I know, honey, I know. Just hold on. It’ll get better.’’

     I went back to my room, passing Harper, who said quietly, ‘‘It’ll get worse.’’

     I stopped. ‘‘What?’’

     ‘‘It’ll get worse. This is only the beginning. There was a girl at my school in grade eight who sent me death threats, and in the end she was sent to court for harassment. It didn’t get better until after that.’’

     ‘‘You pressed charges?’’

     ‘’I did. You’d be wise to as well, Megan. Don’t let her walk all over you.’’

     I thought this was a bit weird, getting advice from my sister on how to deal with criminals and harassment, but I kept her words in my head as I slept, tasting them on my tongue. 

     Harassment, my brain thought. 

     I got a text from Cris: What’s up? 

     I answered: Oh, nothing. 

     Cool, he said. 

     I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling with threats in my head and hope in my lungs, and I thought of what he would say if I told him about Hadley. 

     A tear dribbled from my eye. 

     So I told him. I told him every single word.