How You Should Love (Completed)

Regrets and Hearts Apart

{Song Track: John Mayer-All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye}

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eacR94V4qCE

Third Person POV

Maybe at some point in our lives we had made a stupid decision, a stupid decision that can't be undone. Before you know it, it was too late.

For Mina that was the moment she let go of Chaeyoung and completely disappear from her life. She thought she was right all along.Later on she understood that she can't unlove her no matter how much she told herself and believe herself that she can. She just simply can't.

Sometimes she asked herself why she had pushed her too far, why she never gave her a second chance, why she'd choose to let her go.She sat on the lonely front porch as she watch the rain slowly falls down on the ground and began to wonder if all this time is Chaeyoung still thinking about her? She knew it's silly because she had hurt her deeply and she can't be forgiven that easily but there is a selfish part of her that would like to believe that she still loves her,that she still cares and she'll come back into her arms.

It had been exactly four months after Chaeyoung left and move back to her family in S. Korea.She said she needed space and a time of her own to heal her broken heart.Her heart that had been broken by her.

She'd wrecked her own family.With Chaeyoung gone Daniel started hating and had been deliberately ignoring her.After Chaeyoung left his son gave her the silent treatment, he would only talk to her sister Tara and her other mom over Skype.Sometimes he slept in their old house with her aunt Dahyun and will just visit them whenever he missed his little sister. He also started working odd jobs like being a cashier in a convenient store and at weekends he was a helping boy in an auto repair shop.He said he could live by his own means and he doesn't want to rely on her for his own needs.For Mina as a mother that hurts her a lot.In the end she couldn't blame him.She was the one who put a strain into their family and broke it into pieces.If only Chaeyoung were here she exactly knew what to do, she thought so.

Now she could only look back and regret every single mistake that she did.These days she'd been barely eating and she can't manage to have a decent sleep.The consuming guilt take a toll on her physical health that she was later diagnosed with anemia.The doctor said that it was not severe but was advised to take medication to not complicate her health before it developed into something serious.

Her heart were so heavy these days, Jin had been into several business trips and she was left all alone. Being all alone is no good it made her feel the pervasive pain across her chest of the void that Chaeyoung left.It felt like a slow prickling acid being poured inside her chest, she doesn't have any words for how painful it was. She thought there were kinds of pain in this life that were left unnamed because words weren't even enough to describe how painful it was.Maybe it was karma afterall, she knew she deserve it fair and square.

"You deserve it Mina"

Unknown to her tears started to fall that later turned into loud heavy sobs.Her whole being was shaking and convulsing from the intense pain that she felt inside.

Flashback (2016, junior year in college when Mina and Chaeyoung first met)

Mina was a naïve 19 year old who didn't knew life better. Yes, she didn't.Things weren't making sense into her naïve mind like just what is happening right now.She was stuck in this cold pavement with a bloodshot eyes,a bottle of Budlight in her hand and feeling all so snotty. Not to mention, disheveled,dumb and stupid.It's kind of funny that she was crying for that asshole who tore her heart by hacking it wide open.