Those nights that you know are inevitable.
Those nights that happen so frequently.
Those nights that fill you with despair.
Those nights where you almost give up.
These are the nights where you have panic attacks.
In
Out
In
Out
In
Out
Your breath quickly goes.
Hyperventilating.
Air rushing in and out of your lungs.
Telling yourself you're being irrational,
But not being able to stop it.
You can barely choke out sobs because of your breathing.
You lay there in a ball staring at nothing as you writhe on your bed trying to get real air into your lungs.
The nights where you cry out to a god you don't believe.
You ask them to take you away and just let the pain go.
You beg to let go.
That is your mantra.
Let me go.
Let me go.
Let me go
LET ME GO!
Until you are yelling at yourself and the world.
You fall asleep with those words leaving your lips.
You fall asleep hoping that somehow you won't wake up.
You fall asleep with the tears still falling down your face.
You fall asleep.
But to your dismay and despair you wake up.
And
It
Starts
Over.
