When I say I sleep too much, people reply with "Oh man I wish I slept too much."
When someone says "I only got four hours of sleep last night."
My astonishment is genuine.
They had to hold onto consciousness however many more hours than I did.
Having to keep your responsibilities in your mind however much longer.
Sleep used to just be an escape,
But now?
Sleep is an addiction.
I sleep constantly so I don't have to think about my life.
My world.
My depression.
My anxiety.
Sleep is an ocean that I wholeheartedly dive into.
I wake up in anticipation of sleep.
Every minute awake I think of how I could be sleeping.
I could be dreaming, away from all of this.
When I'm not asleep, I hate my life.
Yes I have happy moments and days, but that doesn't stop the wave of numbness that comes after waking up.
The wave that comes over me as I realize, my high has ended.
Sleeping too much can be as detrimental as sleeping too little.
Yes, I sleep more than you.
And yes, you think you are "more tired than me."
But don't compare your fucking pain to mine.
