I hurt myself for the first time in months today.
I turned the water so hot that my skin was almost numb from the burning.
Almost.
I wouldn't let myself get that release of full numbness.
I scrubbed my already burning skin raw with my nails.
When I got out and started drying off, my skin began to peel off.
My back is still steaming, fifteen minutes later.
The long sleeved shirt I put on hurts.
I slammed my hands against my hips and chest to leave bitter angry bruises.
I deserve them.
I despise myself so deeply.
I can feel it with every step I take.
I feel it in every small movement.
I'm so tired.
Down to the very essence of my being.
After all, that's all I am right?
Depression, self-loathing, and exhaustion make up my core.
What else is there to be?
