Don't let me go?

Chapter 37

Candice's POV

As soon as I heard Gemma's words, my entire body went numb for a while. I couldn't believe what I just heard. How could I?

My heart was beating a million beats a minute, but my entire body was frozen shut. I could not bring myself to form a coherent thought about anything. It felt like my world came crashing down on me, once again. What do I do? How do I deal with this? Where do I go? Whom do I call? So many questions were being thrown around in my brain with answers to none. 

I have to see him. He needs me. 

That was the only thought I was sure of.

Nothing can happen to him. He's gonna be alright. 

I texted Gemma to know the location of the hospital he's in and just as she did, I rushed to see Harry. I'm in the cab right now and it is taking too long to reach to the hospital. My patience is being tested horribly. 

Finally after what seemed like forever, the white hospital building came into view. I was so reluctant about entering it. I was so scared to see Harry, I had no idea what state he would be in and if I was ready to see him.

He needs you.

This constant voice of subconscious kept me going through all of this and so I decided to go see him. I entered the building with tears rolling down my cheeks, shaking hands and trembling legs.

Somehow I managed to control my crying and asked the receptionist about his whereabouts. She guided me to the place he was in and I took mental notes of it. 

I reached the floor she told me and I saw Gemma and Anne. They looked devastated. I went to them and hugged them. I could not speak anything so I just broke down in Gemma's embrace and she did too. The pain was mutually understandable and didn't have to be put into words to be understood. 

It took me a couple of minutes to get a hold of myself and my emotions and a lot more than those to gather the guts to have a look at him. When I finally did, I walked to the door of his room with heavy feet where a team of doctors were treating him. I took a look and that was enough to break me.

There he was, lying completely still. He looked so pale, almost lifeless. The sheets were covered in blood, the same blood that covered his entire face and his clothes too. That was one horrific sight and I don't think its gonna leave my memory, ever!   

I am so accustomed to seeing a cheerful and full of life Harry, who has got the eyes that can brighten up an entire room. The person I was seeing in front of my eyes seemed like a stranger to me. The pale skin, the stillness, the eerie silence that was being intervened by the beeping of the monitor, the sobbing, the blood, the hospital smell! Everything was so haunting that I wanted to run away from all this as fast as I could but my heavy feet and a heavier heart didn't allow me to do so. 

You need to see this. You need to bear this. You cannot run away from this. This is the reality you need to face. 

I, helplessly took a seat. There's nothing I can do than wait, wait for everything to be alright. I sat there for a long time without really realizing it because my blurry thoughts kept me occupied the entire time.

After I don't know how long, the doctor came out and was talking to Anne.

"He is out of danger as of now but is still in a critical situation, so we need to be very careful around him and keep him under observation till he regains his conscious. He hit his head real hard, so its best not to draw conclusions until he's up. "

That definitely didn't help the persisting situation. 

"Can we see him?" I asked.

"Yes you guys can see him, but not more than 02 people at once."

"Gemma and Anne, you guys go first, I'll wait here." I said.

"That's really sweet of you Rose. But you can go first if you want." Anne said.

"No, I-I'll wait here."

They both went in and I sat back on the chair, trying to gather the guts to go in and see Harry. I have no idea how to face this situation without a shiver running down my spine!

I sat there for  couple of minutes, talking to myself in my head and preparing myself to go see him. Finally Gemma and Anne came out after a while. This was the moment. 

I got up, and every step that I was taking, felt as if I was carrying the weight of the world tied to my feet. I just could't get myself to walk through that door. Seeing my condition, Gemma patted me on the shoulder and encouraged me to go see him. So I did.

There was Harry.. lying completely still with a oxygen mask on his face. He looked so peaceful, not making any sound, not moving an inch. But this wasn't Him. This isn't him.  Where are the bright  and cheerful emerald green eyes? Where are the dimples that would flash every time he smiled? Where was the warmth? 

I couldn't stand for more than a minute or two before breaking down into a puddle of tears.  managed to drag a stool and sat beside him, holding his hand in mine and talking to him. 

"Hey you, Mr. Curly head! You better wake up and stop pissing me off. This definitely isn't the best way to prank me. You know how much I hate hospitals and its smell, and you on the other hand always manage to drag me in! But this time, it ain't funny Harry. Get up you!!"

I wiped away my tears and continued.

"Get up you idiot! I know I've never admitted this before, but I need you. Yes Harry, I do, I need you! What would I even do without you? You cannot just lie here completely still and not move an inch and expect me to fight all my battles alone. You promised me you'd never let me go. I need you so that I can be myself. I know it's not been a long time that I know you for, but I guess it's enough for me to say that you keep me sane. Do you have any idea about my happiness when I'm around you? Probably not, because I suck at expressing it. But I wouldn't wanna continue my streak of being dumb and I want you to know that I Love You. Yes Harry, I love you! And I know I was  being such a moron when I rejected your proposal. I shouldn't have! I just do not have a valid explanation as to why I turned it down. I loved you back then, and I love you now, and I know I will continue to do that forever. I don't know how long forever is, but all I know is I would love to spend it next to you and no one else. But please Harry, get up and fill this void that your stillness has created. Please Harry!"

I couldn't manage to speak anymore. I just held his hand and tried to feel as close to him as I could.