Hi, little author's note - revised

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Hi, I am considering writing a book centered around a poem which I have created. I would like some feedback on the poem. Thank you. I have added a second one which is based on the main male character. Any feedback on either poem is much appreciated.  

Our White Queen

She came bathed in light,

This Queen of White,

Her heart pure and filled with delight,

But darkness met her,

Turned her white heart red,

Now she is white turned dark,

Red dripping down her gown,

Her heart is still pure,

But she is no longer,

Our Queen of White,

Now she is our Queen of Red 

Our Dark King

He comes cloaked in darkness,

Always bathed in night,

This Dark King,

But light met him,

Turned his dark heart light,

His dark heart now light,

He is no longer darkness,

Our Dark King,

He is now our Rebel King,

The Rebel King who will kill for his Queen

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