Butt fuck it? // l.s

Chapter 35: eleanono

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"Sunglasses?"

"Check."

"Food?"

"For the third time, Niall, we'll buy it when we get there."

Louis looked over the list one more time. "I think that's it. We're just waiting on Harry. God knows where he is..."

"He didn't text you?" Niall piped up, smirking a bit.

Louis quirked an eyebrow. "No?"

Niall simply nodded and leaned back into the cushion of Louis' couch, smirk still lingering. They had all agreed to meet at Louis' flat because he lived the closest to a zoo. They figured a day to all hang out together was a good idea besides just texting all day.

After waiting in silence for another three minutes, a knock suddenly rang through Louis' small flat. He went over to get it, a smile taking over his whole face because he hasn't seen his boyfriend in so long.

He swung the door open, getting ready to jump into his arms, but stopped once he saw what was next to him.

"What the fuck is that?"

"I'm Camille." The vagina answered, sticking her hand out for him to shake.

Louis stared at it for a few beats before grabbing it and shaking it lightly. "Louis."

She gave him a tight lipped smile. "I've heard a lot about you. All good things, no worries."

Louis slowly nodded, his eyes moving to Harry's, who just stared back with a small smile. "Shall we go?"

Everyone grabbed their stuff and headed out the door into the vehicles. Everyone was carpooling since there wasn't enough room for everyone in one car. Louis was driving one with Harry, Niall, Natalie, and Camille.

The whole way there, Camille kept kicking the back of Louis' seat so at a red light, Louis finally just grabbed the lever on the side of the seat and swung the chair back so it crushed her legs. Not badly enough to be broken, though.

"Fucking bitch..." She hissed under her breath, holding her legs to her chest.

Louis just readjusted his seat and continued driving when the light turned green. After fifteen minutes of listening to Camille whine and Harry babying her, they finally reached the zoo and Louis couldn't be happier.

"We're here. You can stop playing the baby sitter now, Harold." Louis mumbled, climbing out of the car along with everyone else.

Liam pulled in moments after and parked into the spot right next to Louis'. Him, Zayn, and Gigi got out of the car and stood with them for the time being.

Camille latched herself onto Harry's arm when they started walking and Louis noticed him stiffen up. He walked over and laced their fingers together, causing Camille to look at our hands in horror and retract herself.

"Fags."

That set Louis off.

"Hi sweetie honey bun carrot cake I hope you know that your little "boyfriend" over here loves dick and would suck me dry any day, night, or afternoon so keep your homophobia to yourself or we're gonna have a damn problem."

Camille simply just stared at him stunned, the same with Harry, Zayn, Liam, Gigi, and Natalie. Niall was doubling over in laughter.

Louis squeezed Harry's hand once before he continued walking, swinging their joined hands back and fourth between them. "Shall we go see some animals?"