As you say

Chapter 1

I looked down as Zaili slept on my lap, her hair everywhere. Damn, it was long! And I absolutely adored it. She looked less depressed in sleep, even though I know it followed her everywhere, in her dreams, in her memories, in her. I glanced around and saw it was just me, the driver and Zeke still awake. Of course, since Zeke and I are the only morons who aren't tired now, but will sure as hell be tomorrow.

"Wish I was tired," I muttered to a bus full of sleeping people. I sigh and returned my attention to Zaili again. I carefully stroke her cheeck, it was strange how she was naturally red. She didn't need to blush or anything, though when she did blush she would be red all over and then complain about looking like a "splotchy tomato".

'As if,' I think to myself. She looked like a dream. Like my dream. Like my girl. I want her, if only I could have her. 'She has no idea,' I think, sadly, watching her. As soon as she wakes up she's going to create a barrier between us again. I hated, loathed that barrier. I couldn't stand the way she seperated herself from all of us. I can't let her get lost, because if I lose her, I just might lose my mind, searching for her. Hell, I might have already lost it simply by being this close to her. She never saw me like this. I made sure she didn't, I mean, no type of girl I know would willingly hang out with a guy that has a strange sort of obsession with her. I once almost told her. When I was still delusional, back then, before I knew the truth of my world. I was completely crazy and totally carefree. I miss that, just like she had missed that. She could never let go, could never live in the moment. She lived in the future. She always dreamed of times like we we're experiencing right now. She would tell me all the stories she could think up of her bright future, but now that it's here she can't live in this moment. Because she is already dreaming up the next future. The next event she desperately wants, but will never have. She is so depressed. Because that is who she is. And I wouldn't change anything. Not one damn single thing.