As you say

Chapter 23

Wednesday was one hell of a day. I promised myself I would let her be-let myself be.

I honestly tried to keep that promise, but I was so desperate to talk. I wanted to tell Zaili about the look Mr Sir gave me in second period, about my newest theory on why the Horcrux in Harry Potter did not die when the Basilisk bit him, about how much I hate mathematics and then listen to her explain why she loves it (again).

I felt the need to talk ee

at me up inside all day. And the dislike I felt towards the body-leach at her side at all times too.

But the loneliness I am feeling is 70% fiercer than the disliking.

The bell rang at the end of the fourth period, signalling break. Break, the most loved, yet most hated period in most periods of life. All the challenges of the best-outfits or the I-can-afford-anything or whatever. I hate it. But I love the break from academics.

"Blake!" a blonde Stephanie calls me from across the cafeteria. I cringe inwardly, but supress it as she near me; there's no need for estrogen-drama.

"How are you?" she hugs me. I just stand there stiffly, hoping nobody notices.

I don't want her as my girlfriend.

"I'm fine, and you?" I ask as I wrestle her off of me.

"I'm great! Thanks for asking! Oh, and I wanted to see if you could, like come with me to that party Elly is thr-" I cur her off.

"Sorry, but I don't really have time this... month," I smile at her and turn away.

She calls goodbye to me as I stalk off, promising to call me later.

'Note to self: lose phone,' I make a mental memo.

Halfway across the cafeteria I realise I am heading to our spot. Zaili would be there.

Go talk to her, or walk away? Is Ashton with her? Will she talk to me? What would I even s-

'Shut up.'

I march myself over to my usual table. Zaili is there. Also, she is alone.

Cue pain.

I don't know what to say to her. What do you say to the girl you love, if she only wants to be friends? What do you say to the girl you gave your heart, only to have it returned in prime condition?

"Hey, Zaili," I say to her. She stiffens when I sit down.

I groan and band my head once, twice one the table. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry," I mumble into her direction. I keep my eues closed, afraid, so afraid of what I would see if I opened them.

"For?" her voice sounds thin.

"For... caring. I understandd that you don't want... things. I can try to accept that, and I can respect that. I'm sorry," I answer softly.

"Can you be just friends?"

"If it means I can keep you, then yes. I can," I say.

"Okay," she says. I open my eyes. She smiles at me; it warms my toes. She never has faked around me. I can trust her.

"Friends?" I ask her.

"Yeah," she winks. It's a friendly wink. I know.

"Good friends?" I nudge her.

"No," Ashton interrupts Zaili's wince.

I scowl at him, but keep quiet.

He is a condition of Zaili's friendship.

'A package deal.'