As you say

Chapter 18

I fiddle with my jean's belt loops as I ring Zaili's doorbell. I need to talk to her.

As the door opens I stand in front of the guy.

'Ashton,' my minds spits his name out bitterly.

"Hi, can I help you?" he asks me all innocent like.

"Why are you here? Where's Zaili?" I narrow my eyes at him.

'Zaili and I are doing homework, if you had wondered by any chance," he snaps back at me. "Now what are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to Zaili,' I mutter.

"Fine," the asscrown says and stiffly marches back into the house.

"Zaili, are you done with number 12?" Ashton calls out as we step into the family room.

"No, I'm still at number 11, but mune is about triple the length of your "Yes, because I think so" answer. Now who was at the door?" Zaili asks, neved picking her head up as she's writing. She is so focused.

"Lili, you will never understand the simplest answer solution, will you?"

I tense all over at his reference to Zaili. 'Lili'? Where the hell did that come from? And while I'm at it, why is he alone with her in her house?!

"Oh," Zaili gave me a quick glance and stood up.

"I'll be right with you, Blake. Ash, let me just get you a refill," she says and walks out of the room, Ashton short on her heels.

"Oh, hell no," I mumble harshly and follow them a few seconds later.

"Can I get something for you, Blake?" Zaili asked me, some type of emotion shadowing her facial expression. She is the perfect host.

'Boy Wonder's head on a stick.'

"No, I'm fine, thanks," I wave her off.

"Then let's go talk," she says, as I start walking, she gives Ashton a hug and a kiss on the cheek. A fucking kiss on the cheek.

Fuming, I follow Zaili down the hall to their dining room.

"So, you wanted to talk?" she says, simply looking at me.

"Tell me what is going on. Tell me why the fu-" I start going off.

"Not in my house, Blake! We do not swear in my house!" she scolds me.

"Sorry. Why are you 'with' him?" I say hoarsely.

"Why do you care, Blake? Why does it matter to you so much?" she demand of me.

Now I have two options: one, I could tell her how I feel and live with the consequences, or two, I can friendzone myself and live with those consequences. No brainer.

"Because I like you, Zaili. We've been together for two years, yet I am nothing like that to you? How could you be with that Ashton guy?" my voice bleeds with emotions I had locked away for so long.

"Blake, don't do this, okay? It would never have worked between us, don't you get it?" she pleads with me. Pleads with me.

"No, I am doing this, we have to talk about this, Zaili! I know you don't feel nothing for me, and I want to know why we can't at least try?" I say strongly.

"Because I don't think it would be in either of our best interest to be together. I will never date you, we will never be more than friends. You have to admit that to yourself. And stop being so mean to Ashton," she said, her voice delicate. It infuriates me to think that she's just pushing me away for no apparent reason.

"No, Zaili! I have been in this friendspace for too long, okay?! Stop leaving me hanging!" I explode at her. I am going to feel so bad about this later.

"I will never be able to be more than friends with you, Blake! Accept that! I don't have any feelings like that for you!" she cried, but I knew she had to be telling a lie.

"Why? We can be mo-" she cut me off.

"No, okay! It will not happen!" she yelled, and my heart clenched-forget clenched, it tore-when I saw the single tear running down her face. I had made her cry.

'Fuck me. Asshole.'

"Za-" I attempt.

"No," she whispers and runs out, I hear her bedroom door slam seconds later.

"I think you need to leave," Ashton says as I start to stand up.

"Will you make me?" I swing around to face him. "Will you force me out?"

"If I must," he says threateningly. I took a step forward, prepared to take on the guy, but he just stood there. I was usually met in the middle when I participate in a fight.

"Just leave him, Ashton. Come one," Zaili interrupts me as I'm about to throw my first hit. The raw emotion in her voice shook me.

"Just close the door on your way out," Ashton says to me and steps around my frozen self. This time Zaili's door was closed gently.

I stood there for a time, listening for a sound. Minutes passed, but it was as if I was alone in the house. Shakily I walk to the front door, and as I leaved, I closed it gently behind me.