Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
nosocomephobia: the fear of hospitals and hospitalization.
>>>>>month five<<<<<
him
luke's mind was still tarnished by the drug, barely able to comprehend the words that left the doctor's mouth. they came in spurts, like little video clips of reality luke would have a hard time deciphering.
"tumor...ceased treatment...month's left, maybe"
but still he sat at the side of the hospital bed luna had been placed in upon arrival, where she remained unconscious. everything moved so slowly around him, lights flashing by her window each time an ambulance pulled up leaving patient after patient. luke could do nothing but sit and stare at luna.
lost. he was utterly lost.
her chest rose and fell, the clock ticked, nurses came and went and suddenly luke was out of time.
"sir?"
a tap he chose to ignore.
"visiting hours have ended." the woman's voice is harsh, penetrating the mist ripping luke apart from the inside. she didn't care what was going on in luke's head or luna's life, he was just another punk kid disobeying hospital policy. "i'm going to have to call security, sir." she finally said as he remained silent and still, and with that luke's bloodshot eyes open.
still she lies there.
sighing he rose from the chair, his joints stiff and his mind a muddled mess. what is he to do without his luna?
*****
luke was certain it was a dream until he woke up a second time in the same hospital waiting room chair he had mangled himself to fit semi-comfortably in. the clock ticked far too loudly on the wall causing his head to pulse, he cringed as he unfolded his limbs checking the time.
2:57a.m.
he sighed scuffing his black sneakers against the dingy hospital tile, stopping once he's reached the sliding glass doors leading to a brisk australian night. luke couldn't remember it being this cold before as he shivered, the doors slid open the sensor above detecting a presence. he tried to stop the tears from springing into the corners of his cobalt eyes but it was useless, he had allowed himself to fall for a girl he didn't even know.
and this was his punishment. his chest cracked open with unimaginable agony, the love of his life would be gone before they ever had a chance. he was officially out of time, the clock striking 3:00a.m. took more eternities than luke imagined possible. time was impossibly slow and suddenly luke felt queasy. spewing the contents of his stomach so unexpectedly it takes him a moment to realize what is happening.
wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his hoodie he takes a deep breath, now slumping against the wall, still being terrorized by the effects of the twelve hour drug.
"are you alright?"
luke looks up at the voice, luna stands on the steps leading out of the hospital. "luna..." he sighed, blinking until she dissolved into a middle aged orderly smoking a cigarette. "i'm fine." he pushed off the wall, taking the stairs two at a time until he bypassed the woman and his feet made contact with the sidewalk.
he wasn't sure where to go. his feet pounded into the pavement and he was running before he knew it, the air slicing deeply in his lungs but he pushed on. luke kept running because that was the only thing that made sense without his luna. he was trapped in this world, alone it felt like, he didn't want to believe she would be gone in weeks. he didn't want to believe that luna was a ghost, that she had always been a ghost.
a goner.
he couldn't catch his breath, his axis shifting painfully throwing off his equilibrium. luke collapsed in the middle of the street, his eyes swimming with the oceans of star trapped tears, galaxies away he could picture it, luna lying next to him. they would laugh looking up at the sky and each time a vehicle honked at the idiots in the road. luke could see the burgundy lips leaving stains on his porcelain skin. he could see it all, the life he deserved with the only person who stopped the screaming in his brain.
__________
her
luna felt everything. each time luke breathed in that dreaded chair next to the bed she knew she lied comatose in, she felt his hope dwindling with every single breath he took. her heart shattered and she wondered if she was still suffering silently held tightly within the grasp of a drug she knew nothing about.
luna was lost. she just wanted to open her eyes, she begged herself to just pull it all together. open her eyes, find luke's oceanic gaze on her, the gaze that she would end her life for. the boy she would do anything for was inches away from her, sobbing uncontrollably and that's when she felt his shaking hand take hers squeezing so hard she thought he was trying to force his own life into her through their palms. her skin was on fire where his touched her, but she could not focus on that only the words spilling violently from his mouth as if he literally had nothing left.
"lulu, baby, i don't know if you can hear me but i know that you're sick," his voice cracked, sullen and dark. "i want you to know how brave you are to have taken all this on. you are astonishing, baby. you are...everything..." he sighed, choking back more tears he dropped luna's hand as if it's just burned him. "i want you to come back to me, to follow my voice and just fucking wake up." another sob and i can't bear his gut wrenching heartache. "but i don't think that's what you want, baby, so i love you luna." and then there's nothing but silence and luna felt her stomach twist with loneliness and regret. she wanted to squeeze his hand back, let him know she was there listening to him. that she wanted to come back to him more than he could possibly understand, but she just couldn't figure out if it would be worth it now.
eventually a nurse came to shoo luke away but luna knew she had lost him the moment she collapsed on the ground at michael's, he was no longer attached to his body and luna knew it was all her fault. she kept the biggest secret in her life from the only person she had ever loved and who had truly loved her in return. luna was selfish and luke must suffer as a result.
she wondered if he would forgive her for her dishonesty before allowing the black abyss to swallow her whole, secretly hoping she'd never wake again.
besides, how could luke possibly still want to be with a ticking time bomb?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a/n: ah shit guuuyyyysss it's fixing to pick da fuck up! (unedited bc i'm trash)
