TRISTFUL. GRUVIA

VI. TOO STUPID

g.f  — 

I could not stand to sit there and watch her suffer from misery. The guild members were surrounding the overwhelmed Juvia, welcoming her back, not knowing that she wouldn't be able to give their happiness back in return, not knowing that she would fail to recognize any of their faces. It was a burden she'd have to carry, because of me.

She used to fight battles with her emotions all of the time, the rain clouds always seeming to lurk behind her, preventing her from being able to see broad daylight. Yet, despite her suffering that she has been struggling to deal with even before I met her, she was still able to keep a smile on her face for all of us. It was the smile that haunted me every time she came to my mind, every time I looked at her.

Why did I have to make her suffer?

"Are you okay?" Juvia asked, "You seem to be dozing off, out of place..I was just wondering if I cou-"

I forced myself to shift towards the blunette. After making that choice, I immediately regretted doing so. The resemblance between the past Juvia and the new one... My eyes widened as I came to a realization. She looked like a ghost, the ghost of what she was like before, reflecting the history we had shared together right before my eyes.

"Hey," her wistful voice spoke to me, "Juvia is sorry if she made you upset.."

My hand abruptly guided itself towards her without any second thought to reconsider the idea, my index finger pressing against her soft, warm, lips, drawing her to silence, my face leaning towards her as I pulled her closer to me. "It's okay, Juvia. You don't have to worry about me all of the time, I am fine," I reassured.

As much as I wanted to remove myself from this awkward position we were in, my gut stopped me. I couldn't move a muscle, I couldn't resist myself but stay. Her nervous breaths, the way her cheeks were almost as scarlet as Erza's hair..it kind of reminded me of the old Juvia, the way she used to fall for me back then, and it made me want to stay like this forever.

Suddenly, a booming voice interrupted the moment, causing Juvia to pull away. She was madly blushing, and quickly scurried away from me into the crowd before I could stare at her any longer, as if she were very embarrassed.

"Everyone, can I have your attention?"

What the hell was I thinking? I must seem like a pervert now..

Master Makarov proudly stood on one of the tables in the main hall, and announced, "We are very thankful that one of our guild members, Juvia Lockser, is still alive after being nearly killed in an incident on a misson. But thanks to Gray Fullbuster, she is still living and breathing, and will be able to continue to grow in Fairy Tail with us! We are going to be celebrating this great news next week. All are invited!"

The eyes of the audience began to wander towards me, curiously. I attempted to turn my face away, not wanting to look at their faces. They were admiring me for practically nothing. I had done exactly the opposite of what Master was telling them. I had ruined Juvia's entire future, instead of saving it and allowing her to cherish the life she has. There was no way that I could accept this recognition..

In the midst of the crowd, I could hear Natsu's annoying voice in the background, yelling, "Ice princess saving someone? No way, he's too stupid to be capable of doing such a thing.."

And for the one time in my entire life, I actually agreed with him. I was stupid..I was stupid for being responsible of almost killing an innocent water mage.