TRISTFUL. GRUVIA

XI. SILVER MILKOVICH

g.f — 

After Lucy and I had parted ways, I settled at the bar by the reason of no one hanging around that area at the moment. I exhaled, thankful that no one else was around. I would much prefer to be alone than to consort with others any longer. I wouldn't be sure of what to expect out of each individual that I may end up encountering, and I wouldn't be prepared to talk to them anyways, especially if it ended up being like a conversation similar to the one Lucy and I had. Opening up had already been hard for me the first time, and I wasn't ready to open my arms, to allow myself to face another confrontation like that.

But of course, as I expected, my luck had chosen to not side with me. It had never did anyways, just like it didn't with the death of my father, just like it didn't with the case of Juvia forgetting her memory. Fortuity had betrayed me once again, even though I wasn't ready to face another person, even though I had struggled for such a long time now, even though I had suffered a lot. I guess that was my karma for hurting her, and it would be something that I would have to live with for the rest of my life. I accepted that.

Not even five minutes later, I was met with a familiar silhouette shadowing itself right behind me. "Hey, you're back," Juvia spoke, sounding quite relieved as she took a seat next to me, "I was wondering where you went.."

"Oh, my friend Lucy had hauled me into a storage room to talk to me about..it was well, it was something personal," I explained, hoping she wouldn't ask for me to go into further detail. I already wasn't comfortable with the topic at hand. I just wanted to leave her behind. As much as I hated the thought of doing such a thing to her, it would be better that way. It would be better if she never got to know me again. I would only bring affliction to her again, and she had the right to live a wonderful life, even if it meant that I wasn't to be associated with her.

"That name.." she began to mutter to herself, "It's so familiar..Lucy..l-love rival..the sun..Lyon?"

"What?" I asked, shocked that she had said those two common words I was actually used to hearing her say. Love rival, the familiar nickname Juvia had given Lucy when she had thought the two of us had feelings for each other. It had never came to my mind that she would ever say them again, that scraps of her memory would ever come back.

"Oh..it's nothing," she claimed, startled, as if she didn't realize she was saying her thoughts out loud.

"Speaking of Lyon, shouldn't you be with him? He's your 'Knight in Shining Armor' after all," I said, emphasizing my annoyance so it would be clear to her that I didn't exactly like the dude.

"Oh Lyon?" She repeated, "He had to go to the bathroom around the time I had been aware that you were back after your disappearance. I had told him that while he was gone, I was going to talk to someone important."

"Me? Important? You must be wrong..I can't be important to you, not me out of all people. You barely know who I am, and besides that, you only see me as the creepy pervert.."

"You're right, I barely know who you are. But I would like to get to know you more.. I have this gut feeling that you were special in my heart before I had forgotten you, forgotten everything. I honestly don't know what type of feeling this is, but it is something, something about you, that makes me feel at ease. I feel like that if I got to know you more, I would be able to understand why I am feeling this way," She described, "which is why I want to become friends with you. Yes you, the pervert."

She looked at me, the smile she wore on her face so pure, so innocent, so loving and welcoming, making it difficult for me to resist. As much as I wanted to decline her request, as much as I wanted to stay as far away from her as possible, like I had promised to do, I couldn't break her heart again, I just couldn't. Despite my mind's protests, I knew saying yes would be the right thing to do. People had always said to follow your heart instead of your mind for a reason, right? It would be better that way for her, and maybe even for myself.

"We can be friends," I replied, which brought joy to her face.

"Now that we are friends, I was wondering if you would tell me your name. It's okay if you don't, but it's just..well, you see, it would be awkward if we were to talk a lot and I wouldn't be able to call you your name. I would just end up calling you weird stuff like, 'pervert' or 'dude', and that's kind of awkward, you know what I mean?" She began to ramble.

I nodded. Unfortunately, she did have a good point. I knew there was no way in hell that I would allow myself to tell her my real name, so instead, I said, "Silver Milkovich, that's my name." It combined the names of Silver, after my father, and Milkovich, after Ur, my old mentor's last name.

"Silver Milkovich..what an interesting yet peculiar name. I'll try to remember that," She stated as she gazed elsewhere, "well, it looks like Lyon is back. I guess I have to go. We'll talk more later, alright?"

"Yeah of course," I replied, trying to fake a smile as she abandoned me for Lyon. Pain stung straight through my chest, knowing that there was no way we would ever be able to go back to the way we were before, that the relationship between her and I would never be the same again.

I had just been friend zoned by Juvia Lockser, something I was most certainly not accustomed to, and for some reason, it made me hurt like hell. She was Lyon's now, instead of mine. It wasn't like I cared or anything, but it was just..weird, weird that things had ended up like that.

Juvia and I just as friends, eh? I wondered how that was going to turn out.