TRISTFUL. GRUVIA

X. YOU LOVE HER

g.f — 

The blonde mage took my hand and dragged me into the storage closet. Lucy slammed the door shut and sighed, walking herself over to one of the boxes scattered across the area, perching herself on top of it. I did the same.

For the next few minutes, we just sat there, not a single voice escaping within the barriers of the room. Unsure of what to do, I had found myself blankly staring at the white walls, bare and empty, not a single streak of any other color shown. I recollected the thought of what used to be standing here, before Phantom Lord had crushed our guild. At this very spot, this was where the bar used to be. The bar had been full of color, so full of liveliness. But now, here lied a room which lacked of those very things. It was exactly the opposite..it wasn't in its well deserved state.

And that was what had exactly happened to Juvia. She used to have this spark to her, a spark that had made her different from all of the other enemies I had ever faced. It was one that didn't only her make strong, but it was one that gave her the drive and determination to be successful in completing a task. She was one who had proven herself that she had belonged at this guild, that this was her home. Until I obliterated that, ruined it, destroyed it, took it away from her grasp. I had hurt her in so many ways, and now she was brought upon darkness, left without a single trace of her memory left. Because of me.

I shuddered at the dismal thought that I had that much power to maim someone physically and emotionally. Trying to forget that cold, hard, truth, I broke the dead silence that had been present for quite some time now, saying, "What the hell do you want? Why drag me here if we are going to be doing nothing?"

"I'm sorry, Gray.." she apologized, looking me in the eye, "I just couldn't stand watching you suffer once again because of Juvia losing her memory. I thought if I moved you here, you would be able to clear your mind."

"It's fine.." I assured her, "Thanks for doing that, by the way."

Our voices drew silent for a few seconds, until she began to speak again, "Life must be tough for you, from what I've noticed. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to be in your shoes, Gray.."

"What do you mean?"

"I've been watching you suffer alone, all by yourself, ever since Juvia had lost her memory.. It is as if something had happened between you two, the moment you had saved her. It is like she has been haunting you ever since. Just the thought of her picks at you like you are weak, like you can't defend yourself, yet you still pretend that you are okay, that you can fight your personal stress all by yourself," She said.

"Lucy, i-it was my fault..it was my fault that she had almost been k-killed, that she had lost her memory.." I explained, my eyes not being able to meet with hers, shifting from one direction to another, not being able to focus on a single thing. I buried my face into my hands, sweat building on my forehead, the event relentlessly replaying in my mind once again.

"What do you mean?" She asked. I could hear her voice shaking as if she were trying to decide how to react, as if she were trying to process the unexpected words coming out of my mouth.

"I had asked her to go with me on a mission that day because you, Natsu, and Happy were already going on one. I knew it would be a hard one to complete all by myself, so I had asked Juvia to accompany me. We had done the unison raid together many times before, I knew the strength we had if we combined our powers. I thought we could do it, but I had clearly underestimated our opponent," I continued, "I told her to go get help since I knew we couldn't be able to do it ourselves, us both lying there weak, but she didn't do it. As I was about to take the final hit, she had saved my life at that very moment..and the consequence for that was losing her memory."

"It's not your fault," Lucy mumbled quietly, "she did that because she wanted to, which would be out of your hands. She knew the risks of doing it yet she still chose to do it. She did it because she loved you."

"But I had taken her on the mission, if only I had-"

"Just shut up, Ice Princess!" She screamed.

Lucy too? Okay, Natsu has really been rubbing off on her, hasn't he.

"I..Lucy.." I began to say.

"Just stop blaming yourself for the sake of not only me, but for you and for Juvia..okay?"

I nodded, pretending that I would listen to her, even though I knew that no matter what I would do, that feeling of guilt would still always be there, deep inside of me.

"So why'd you drop the glass?" Lucy asked, slightly changing the subject at hand.

"Oh that? It's a long story," I claimed, trying to avoid having to inform her about what had happened. It was sort of embarrassing..

"Well, I have all day," She smirked, "Now tell me."

I sighed, knowing that there was no way out of this. "Juvia was hugging Lyon be-because her memories had messed up and she thought he had fought her, that he had showed her the sun, when it was actually me..a-and Lyon smirked at me as if to say he had won a non-existing war. Distracted by the disgusting sight, I had forgotten that I was holding my drink in my hand, and in the process of clenching my fist, I had broken the glass."

"You love her," Lucy stated, "You love Juvia."

"What?"

"I can tell," She began to chuckle, "You had gotten jealous over such a little thing."

"T-that was not just a little thing..and I-I was most certainly not jealous, out of all things," I protested. Why the hell was I stuttering?

"Yeah right," She teased, shaking her head, "Whatever you say. Now let's get back to the guild before people start questioning where we were."

"Yeah," I said.

As we walked back to the main hall, I kept on mentally trying to convince myself that Juvia was just a friend, and that there was no way in hell that I could be possibly falling for her, while Lucy continued to laugh over the fact that I shattered the glass because I was 'jealous'.

I didn't love her..did I?

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Dedicated this chapter to Kcole666999 for the many votes! I really appreciate it! <33

- Calista