TRISTFUL. GRUVIA

XXI. SO WEAK

g.f —

My footsteps timorously drew near the water mage as I sighed in reluctance, a sense of uneasiness lingering above me, the weight of this disturbance like a ponderous leverage being uplifted onto my shoulders.

I had never intended to ever meet eye to eye with her again since the time we mutually bid our goodbyes, I had never intended to even bother saying hello to her once more. In fact, I was quite disinclined about the idea.

The temptation to turn my back against this proposal shrouded over me, every muscle in my body fighting to prevent themselves from resisting the need to complete this task. However, to my adversity, it would be impossible to astray from doing this deed. Titania herself had requested I do so, and just the thought of the consequences I could receive if I disobeyed sent fearful shivers down my spine.

"Gray, move along!"

Erza encouraged from afar, her voice almost sounding more like a threat than anything else.

With her words kept in mind, the pressure to follow her directions fixated through my head, I sped up my pace in order to satisfy her needs.

I closed my vision, shards of glass alarmingly shattered out of the blue, a river of liquid pouring over me as I made contact with someone's beverage.

God, why did I have to be so careless?

The water's frigid temperature pierced into my skin, a soft groan escaping from my lips. All of the energy inside of me felt quite drained, my body very weakened due to this. I could no longer stand the cold in which I thought was my friend.. I could no longer fight the pain in which I had suffered for several weeks now..

It was that damn curse to blame.

That curse, and the stupid things it had done to me.

Wendy's spell that was cast upon me, the one that was used so I would be able to survive.. I had wasted my opportunity, and now I was left to wither.

Alone.

I had wished that over this long and dreadful month, my feelings towards this would've dried, would've subsided. I had wished that I'd gotten over it all, so I wouldn't have to continuously be in a state of sentimentality, so I wouldn't have to suffer the agony of being reminded of my fate, of what I would be losing.

Yet instead, it made me feel emotionless.

It made me feel as if I were already dead.

My eyes fluttered open, a pair of azure pupils intensively peered at me.

My body tensed up.

They belonged to Juvia.

Her face was plastered of confusion as to what had just happened. I awkwardly smiled back at her, repeatedly apologizing for my actions while she kept on reassuring that everything was fine, even though it truly wasn't. I felt incredibly foolish..appearing to be a disaster, in front of her out of all people.

Head down in embarrassment, I spoke, "Juvia, I-I was wondering if you would like to go on a mission with me."

I could slightly see a small grin broadened onto her face, the blunette's next words being, "Yeah, of course."

Together, we headed over to the bulletin. Her hands grazed the sheets of paper that were pinned onto the material, her eyes in search of a job she would like to do. After a couple of seconds, Juvia's finger finally paused as she stood back and musingly remarked, "This task sounds like a fun one to do, don't you think?"

I briefly read over it.

Stop this Slimy Creature from taking over residents in Haregeon! Be cautious, it is dangerous!

My hand abruptly clasped my mouth, a sickness beginning to grow inside of my stomach. I closed my eyes as I panted heavily, my brain constantly urging to convince myself to calm down, to stop quivering.

I couldn't believe that she wanted to go to that one particular mission that I have always wanted to forget, that I have always wanted to think had never existed.

It was as if our replenished failure was coming back to me..it was as if it were happening all over again.

She screamed in agony, trying to withstand the suffering. Her struggle made my eyes burn, my stomach beginning to quench, knowing that this was all of my fault that this had happened to her.

Her suffering...something that I was responsible for giving.

"J-Juvia, don't leave me!" I yelled, as I tried to reach out to her.

Why couldn't I have had the strength..to protect her? Why did I have to be so weak?

She locked eyes with me, the scars clearly evident on the inside, and the out. "Juvia is sorry t-that she had failed to p-protect you, Gray-sama. I promised..but I still couldn't."

I was the one..who should've said sorry. It was my fucking fault.

She faintly smiled at me, and then slowly collapsed to the-

"Silver!" Juvia yelled, disintegrating my mind away from the memory, "Are you okay? I-what happened?"

"N-nothing. I just recalled something that I didn't want to remember..that's all."

"Oh..ok," She responded, almost sounding unsure of what to think, "So about the mission?"

I bit my lip, the courage in which I were to ever say no to her, not present. Forcing the sentence to slide out of my tongue, I gulped, "Fine with me."