TRISTFUL. GRUVIA

VII. NO ONE

j.l — 

I sat on the stairs on the guild's entrance. Agitated, confused. These people, they were celebrating..for me? I was an idiot for almost getting myself killed for a reason I still do not know of, yet that was supposed to be a good thing. Being an idiot was apparently a good thing. Like that made total sense.

I dearly missed my memories. If I still had them, maybe I would understand the importance for celebrating over people being idiots, maybe I would understand why shirtless, raven-haired guys liked to pretend that everything was fine.

They were somewhere in my head, I knew that they had to be. But why did they have to refuse to come out? I just wanted to live normally again, I just wanted to set myself on a path in which I knew where I was going, instead of just being left with emptiness, confusion, all over again.

My mind began to wander into a state which was full of questions about myself, and the life I used to have. What kind of person was I? What kind of person did I used to be? What type of childhood did I have? What type of crowd did I hang out with? What type of clothes did I wear? What was my personality? What are guilds? Why did I join this guild called Fairy Tail?

These questions were limitless, each one leading to even more questions, but still no answers. But never mind those..there was one I especially cared about, the one that has been nagging my mind ever since I heard Master Makarov (I think?), make that announcement about the party.

"Why did I almost die, and who was this Gray Fullbuster, the one who had saved me?" I whispered to myself.

"Eh? Gray Fullbuster?" A familiar voice interrupted my thoughts.

I immediately identified who the person was. The raven-haired pervert.

"What are you doing here? Leave me alone you creep.." I muttered.

He sat next to me, stretching his legs as he made himself comfortable. "Why should I?"

"Because I don't know you..you are a stranger, a stranger that basically harassed me! Go away from me!" I yelled, annoyed by just his presence being not even two feet away from me.

The guy then turned away from me, the corners of his lips curving into a frown. His hair masked his eyes, the eyes that I figured were probably in pain right now. In pain because of my words. Did they remind him of something?

"I'm sorry if I upset you because of what I said..I didn't know," I apologized.

"Juvia, how many times do I have to tell you this?" He muttered, "You don't have to apologize. Everything is fine, I'm fine."

Something about the way he had just said that phrase seemed off. The way he would doze off into his own world as if he were waiting for something, as if something has been glued to his mind, as if he were trying to distract himself from what the present had to offer him on purpose. And the way he seemed to be avoiding my eyes every time we talked, every time I was around him.

"Everything is fine, I'm fine."

Those words..they were lies. Every single word that came out of his mouth were all damn lies. Something happened between us, and I didn't know why. He must had been hiding some sort of truth from me, he had got to be.

"Why do you always say you're fine when you are clearly not?!?" I poured my thoughts out, only asking him to be honest with me, "Why can't you just tell me the truth?"

He suddenly turned towards my direction once more, our eyes locked, his wide open in shock. At that moment, it was as if I could read his soul, his feelings. It was as if I broke right through the walls he had built, the armor he had put in front of himself to shield the reality behind his cold self.

My lip quivered, astounded from what I had just discovered. He was lost, confused, heartbroken, alone, uncertain of his path in life..like me. I came to realize that he had his own feelings, just like I did, just like everyone did. He wasn't ready to tell me, and it was my mistake for ever asking a thing, for ever prying into his personal thoughts. I decided to drop the topic, having a sense of understanding for his reason.

"So you really don't remember me," he said quietly as his eyes found their way past my face again, staring at the hard ground, "you really don't remember what I did."

"What did you do? Was it a good thing?" I inquired.

Ignoring my question, he continued, "And about that Gray Fullbuster..he's a real dumbass. I don't even know why he had received that acknowledgement in the first place. He definitely didn't deserve it."

"Well, maybe to you, he doesn't. But to me, it means a lot that he had saved my life instead of just leaving me in the hands of death. I think that would be a valid reason to recognize someone for that reason, personally," I argued.

"I guess you're right," he sighed, "but whatever..I'm going to go back to the guild. See you around, Juvia."

As he was about to walk away, I said, "Wait, hold up!"

He stopped his tracks, waiting for me to say something.

"If you need anything, or if you just need someone to talk to, you can talk to me, okay?"

He nodded, chuckling softly to himself, "I'll consider that..maybe."

I smiled, glad that he might allow himself to open up to me. "By the way, what's your name?" I began to question, "You obviously know my name is Juvia.."

"My name? You don't need to know, I'm not really important to you anyways..I am no one to you."

After saying those words, he left, leaving me to continue to ponder about the unanswered, abandoned, question, all by myself.

"I am no one to you."

What was that supposed to mean?