TRISTFUL. GRUVIA

XXII. SWEETER THAN SUGAR

g.f —

My footsteps nonchalantly clashed with the rocks that were scattered along the ground, the impact upon them like a force in which would drive them several inches farther in front of me. Boredom surprisingly didn't surpass my mind as to how long it would take to reach the battlefield, and to my misfortune, I was instead met with the anxiety that picked at me as the time drew near to interacting with that deadly monster.

I didn't want to face that creature, I didn't want to be reminded of all those haunting memories that had changed my life entirely. It would only bring me pain - and it still has been bringing me pain. Pain that had turned into physical tears, tears that had turned into eternal scars, eternal scars that had been turned into my very own destiny. It was a never ending nightmare.

God, I was an actual idiot for agreeing with Juvia's job request, I should've thought it through.. It wasn't like I could've say no to her, I was too afraid to face the consequences of doing so.. I now regretted this decision, as I was more shaken up about what was in store for us now though, for it could put us in grave danger.

"Silver.."

My gaze fell upon the blunette, a sense of condolence overshadowing her. She appeared to be avoiding eye contact with me, her back forthright to my vision. "Yes?"

"For the past month," Juvia began, "I have always seen you alone.. It is as if you have been eluding away from me, from everyone. You haven't even spoken a word to me since today, for the matter. D-did something happen? D-did I do something wrong?"

My face faltered, a ripple of culpability cloistering me into the lenses of dejection. She had always been saying sorry for all of the incidents that had taken place, even covering for the ones that she was not responsible for.. Yet, I haven't even owned up to my actions a single time, yet, I have just shrouded myself from my problems, running and running, but ending up in the middle of nowhere..

"Juvia I-I'm sorry for r- I'm sorry for making you worry.. You didn't partake in any of this, I.. It is just complicated," I muttered, shame arising as I had failed to demonstrate my penitence.

"Oh, I see.."

Silence filled the air once more, a concept that has repeatedly cycled between the two of us. We could never get past an exchange of dialogue without awkwardness or isolation getting into our minds. We could never get past an exchange of dialogue without agony washing over me, or apologies coming from the lips of the clueless victim.

What had ever happened to us?

In attempts to break the stillness that had gradually assembled, I conversed a question I loathed to even ask, yet a question that I knew would obliterate the unwieldiness.

"How have you and Lyon been?"

In reply, she commented, "We've been doing well, and oh, he's such a darling.."

I felt my stomach quench, the word disgust, fixated into my mind, that word being the distinct definition of the couple.

"That's uh, that's really good."

"Perhaps," Juvia looked at me, "Do you have an affection for someone, Silver?"

I wasn't sure of what came over me, but I suddenly found myself expressing, "Well yes..there is, a girl. She is sweeter than sugar, practically an angel. But we'd never be a couple though. The chances of a successful relationship between her and I..it's like, the chances of flames being prevented from dispersing without water, or any other substance that could stop it, present. I guess you'd call it a dead dream."

"What do you mean by that? I'm sure that she'd retur-"

"Juvia, she'll never return those same feelings for me, okay? Regardless of how hard I try, or how much I beg to God for it to happen, nothing will work. It wasn't like she even deserved me in the first place, nor does any girl. I was sure that you, out of all people, would've realized that by now, but that isn't the case, as you can obviously see," I snapped.

The smile that she had worn recoiled, Juvia's face now empty of emotion. She was clearly hurt, and it was because of my poor choice of words, it was because of my actions, like always..

"I-I didn't mean what I said.. I-I, I've just been stressed, and for some reason, I have been putting it on you.. I really can't comprehend how you've put up with me, and all of the things you've done.. It makes me wonder why you would ever want to talk to, talk to someone like me."

The water mage's hand rested on my shoulder, my cheeks heating up in reaction to her sudden movement. She contradicted, "You may not show it often to the outside world, but I have come to see the nice and caring person that you are, who is most especially loyal to your loved ones. I, to be honest, am not exactly sure why but, you are one of the reasons that I can still bare a smile through all of the suffering I've gone through. If I stopped talking to you, I wouldn't know what I would do.."

I could feel by body tense up at those words, tensing up at how erroneous those words were. "I don't understand where you are coming from, I-I really don't find that as correct, but thank you.."

"I did mean it though, I really believe that you are the kind person that you refuse to be."

"Oh Juvia, trust me.." I began, "You haven't met the true monster that I am, you haven't met my true colors.."

A noise suddenly erupted, putting our discussion to a halt. Our eyes wandered to the figure that towered above us, my lip quivering in fear at the image that was planted before us.

That damn, slimy creature..

.

Update speed will probably end up going faster very soon! Also, expect another update from this book later tonight or tomorrow.. I'm really getting into the completion of chapters!

- Calista