TRISTFUL. GRUVIA

IX. A HEARTBREAKING SMILE

j.l — 

If I could describe what a Fairy Tail party was like in one word, I would choose the word, fun. The people in this guild could never keep you bored, always entertaining you in some sort of way. I was thankful that my old self was able to have a good time hanging around people like them. From the brunette who was constantly drinking beer, to the guy who always talked about how to be a man, to the girl who could read faster than anyone else, to flying cats. The diversity was just limitless.

I smiled as I sipped water at the bar, enjoying a performance done by Mirajane. Her lips were at the microphone, a song being sung, her hair resting on her shoulders, her eyes meeting the crowd. She had the voice of an angel, so meaningful and heartbreaking, bringing feelings of strong emotion into the minds of her audience. It was a voice that could draw one into tears.

So far, I haven't really spoken to anyone, nor did I exactly intend to, even though tonight's event was all about socializing with others.

My purpose of doing this was to avoid the act of engaging myself into another conversation which I would never understand, and to stay clear of another path that would lead into nowhere. I was sick of being clueless all of the time.

Maybe I was meant to be solitary, maybe I was meant to be alone, maybe this was why I was cursed, destined, to live my life without remembering my past.

I felt a cold air touch my skin as a man with a white coat brushed past me. I could sense him sitting behind me, his eyes inquisitively studying me.

"Juvia-chan, you're okay," he said, sounding quite relieved.

"W-who are you?" I asked, sighing. He was another person who was there for me, yet he was another person who I couldn't care for back, yet he was another person I couldn't share memories with. I wanted to avoid those people, but fate had to say otherwise.

I could hear him stand up, his footsteps becoming louder and louder by the second.

Oh god, he was coming towards me..I don't want to face him please, not now..

He stood in front of me, his soft, caring, gentle, eyes on me. Gentle, yet filled with emptiness, sadness, at the same time. They were the emotions I was responsible for making him feel. "So the rumors are true..you really can't remember anything."

I shook my head, ready to run away from my problems, every single one. It was happening again. I was destroying, messing around with people's feelings because I was clueless, because I didn't know anything at all. It was first the pervert, and now him.

Why did I have to be like this?

I was just a speck of dust, dust that would just move about all alone, meeting people that would just come then leave me alone to be neglected and ignored over and over again. I only ended up making those around me sick, I only ended up making those around me want to segregate themselves from me.

A warm liquid trickled down my face, my thoughts being expressed on the outside instead of what I wanted, instead of staying on the inside, which I had attempted to do. I looked at the floor, not being able to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry.."

He then cupped my chin and lifted it up so we were face to face. "It's okay," he replied, "it wasn't your fault, I blame that damn Gray Fullbuster.. anyways, my name is Lyon Vastia."

We shook hands, and that's when I realized who he was. I wrapped my arms around his waist, wanting to be under his shield of protection once again. "You saved my life," I exclaimed, "you were the one who let me see the sun!"

I swore for a second, his face flustered, but he quickly masked that look of confusion with a nod, as if he understood what I was talking about. I watched as his eyes wandered past me, a smirk forming on his face. Lyon then looked back at me, gazing into my eyes as they teared up.

"Thank you, for everything. I don't know how I would ever be able to repay you.." I continued.

The sudden sound of something shattering alerted my ears. I removed myself from Lyon's grasp and turned around to see the mysterious guy. It was the guy who appeared to have a cold heart with a broken soul, yet the same guy who could easily scare the mind of an innocent person for being perverted.

Pieces of glass were scattered on the ground, a liquid spilled on the floor in front of him.

I frowned at the sight of the expression on his face. He wore a heartbreaking smile, a smile like a gun without anymore bullets, with the eyes of someone who had just been shot in the chest, very weak, without anywhere to run to, without anyone to pour out his feelings to. It was as if he were having a battle with himself, fighting to make it appear as if everything were fine, even though that wasn't exactly the case.

"Whoops, my bad. Sorry for disturbing your uh, moment," he spoke, unsure of what he was saying. He seemed to be incapable of thinking straight. Something must've be implanted into his mind, something that he must've been struggling to forget.

As he was about to begin cleaning up the glass, a certain blonde mage took him by the hand and dragged him away from Lyon and I.

With the two of us left in an awkward position, Lyon began to convey with me, "So how have you been so far?"

I immediately shifted towards his direction instead of keeping my eye on the sudden movement of the two guild members.

"Ah, I'm doing fine," I replied, trying to sound as interested as possible. Even though I wanted to be focused on the topic being discussed with Lyon, I couldn't help myself but worry about the pervert. That smile, his eyes, the sight of the familiar stranger still fixated into my mind.

I looked back one last time, but they were no longer there.

I hoped he was okay.. That look on his face told me a lot, and it didn't tell me anything good. He deserved to feel happy, he didn't deserve to be the no one he had claimed to be.