TRISTFUL. GRUVIA

XVI. WHY ME

j.l — 

Lyon and I's first date was absolutely enchanting so far. To be able to laugh, to be able to smile..he allowed me to experience all of those things that I thought were impossible for someone like me to perceive. I was able to enjoy life after what felt like forever because of this man.

As this beautiful night was approaching it's close, the bill in which we were expected to pay still being waited for, Lyon was now engaging himself onto his phone, leaving me to tend to a single question that has been lurking in my mind for quite some time.

Will Silver be okay?

Ever since that lamentable incident-an event in which had the potential to scar a person, it's eternal wounds so powerful that it had been able to embed itself into my soul-I haven't seen him since. However, the rumors about his situation had spread among the guild members, including myself. They said that he was unconscious, in critical condition, practically at the risk of death.

It had brought me a great ripple of disturbance when I had first heard that upheaval news, those words still effecting me at this moment. Just the thought of Silver being in danger truly frightened, truly shattered, my fragile mind, especially since I knew that I was the one to blame for all off this. If only I hadn't failed to save him, if only my actions weren't so delayed..then maybe I wouldn't have had to witness Silver in the state that he was in, then maybe he wouldn't have had to suffer alone.

I closed my eyes, my hands clenched tightly, as a reminder of regret flowed through me.

He lied there, not moving at all.

I could barely make out his soft, but deadly, screams of agony.

Blood slowly dripped down his frozen face, the dark shade of a red liquid dispersing itself all over his body.

Pieces of ice were multiplying and multiplying by the second, the shiny substance reflecting across the sunlight.

I walked up to him, my finger making contact with his cheek.

I cringed.

He felt bitterly cold.

A strong, muscular, hand, suddenly alarmed me.

My eyes opened in a flicker of a moment as I snapped back to reality. I shivered at that traumatic vision, my hands beginning to fidget intemperately. I could see the shadow of a familiar silver head behind me.

Lyon corrugated his brows as he glanced at my shaking palms, worry revealing itself all over his face. "Juvia, my beloved, are you okay?"

I slowly nodded, forcing myself to attempt to put on a fake smile that was similar to the one that Silver had first worn when he had dropped his glass at the party a couple of weeks ago. It felt like such a long time since I had seen hi-

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I belted out, slamming my fists against the table. I could feel tears trickling down my face, the image of Silver's face appearing in my head.

Lyon started to back away, frowning in disappointment at the sound of my words. He brushed his hair back, his eyes not being able to meet my gaze. "I'm sorry that I am still not good enough for you, Juvia, even after all of this time.." He muttered, "I-I guess I'll go home now."

I lunged towards him, reaching out, but he pushed me away, his footsteps pacing faster and faster towards the exit. "N-No, Lyon, you don't understand! That wasn't directed to-"

But before I could finish my sentence, he had shut the door on me, setting towards God forbids where.

I watched in horror as I wiped the tears off of my face, his figure becoming smaller and smaller until I could no longer see him. Our date was now officially ruined.  I bit my lip, trying to fight back the agony as the unwanted rain began to harshly beat against the ground.

I lied back onto the wall, my body slowing falling towards the floor, my hands buried in my face, the drips of water that I had produced soaking into my very own clothing.

Why did misery have to strike upon me once again, like a lightning bolt penetrating into my skin?

Why did I ever believe that change would be possible for someone like me?

Why did I actually think I could be happy?

Why did I have to lose not only Silver, but the guy that I was falling for as well?

"Why me.." I whispered to myself, "Why me.."