Less Than A Century

♡47♡

Slow soft hollow words
Words that you said
I think of them
Instead of listening
To what my friend has to say

She waves her hand
Where were You,
She asks me.

Where was I
I think
I was in a lovers paradise
Until I realized
My lover didn't love me.

I still reminisce
Your warm embrace

I was in my tormentors arms
Until they couldn't hold me

I couldn't take the risk and bear that sweet agony.

Nowhere,
I reply.
I try to concentrate on what she has to say

Who was He,
She asks me finally.
The one who broke your heart,
She clarifies.

Who were you
She asks
I don't know
I never claimed to know you
I was just trying to find out

I knew things about you
And
I tell her.

When I first saw him,
I tell her sipping on my drink delaying it
So she gets bored and leaves the topic
Like I left you.
But it was not because I didn't find you interesting
No
You were the most intriguing person
I had met
was ever likely to meet.

I met him in a porch of an old abandoned house which I never knew existed until this fateful summer,
I stop
inhaling

When I first saw him he was covered in bellows of smoke,
Escaping from his lips
Each inch of his body was covered with ink,
I tell her attentive face.

Did you talk to him,
She asks.

Not just then,
I admit
I went again hoping to find him
He wasn't there

I started coming everyday cause I liked it there
The lake the trees the chirping birds
Singing and free.

What happened then,
She asks doubting.

He came back the boy I had seen
And when I looked at him
I was awestruck
I had never seen someone like him
He told me it was his place
I was disappointed
I didn't want to leave
Can I stay here
I asked him
He thought for a moment
And what a long moment it was
He looked and his eyes stopped at the sketch
You draw he asked
Yes sometimes
If you show me your drawings I will let you come here
He said.
He smiled at me his crooked smile
And I swear nobody had smiled like that
Never smiled so when they were looking at me.

I wondered what he liked in them,
I tell her.
Wondering what you liked in me.

We met each other everyday And slowly we covered every distance there was to cover
All in a number of days,
I continue.

I tell her that you liked taking pictures
Not telling her you traced each nook and corner of me

I tell her you were very artistic
And that you for some reason liked the smell of my shampoo

I tell her that you dressed in a fashion that only you could pull off
Not that we cared about clothes you and me

I tell her you seemed to smell of the sea
Not that you tasted like ashes

I tell her your eyes looked like stroms
Not that I spent hours gazing at them

I tell her I learned every story of each tattoo on your skin
Not that you got our initials engraved on the skin of your heart

I tell her that you had a nice deep voice not the sweet things whispered in my ears

I tell her he didn't love me
Not the fact that you needed me Like lungs needed air
That I needed you
Like the earth needs the sun

We needed each other so much
It broke both us and our hearts

You said you only felt that you breathed because of me
I told you how you gave me direction and added meaning to my days

I tell her that I stopped going back because I couldn't do it anymore
I loved him too much and that wrecked me..

I knew it would destroy us this love and do him no good
He told me he was broken
And I couldn't be the person
Who shattered him
Who snatched away all his hope
And set fire to his dreams
I wouldn't let him ruin himself
For the sake of ever changing feelings
I tell her
Not that what we felt would ever change

I stopped it from increasing but what I had for him was more than enough and yet not enough at all,
I tell her

I remember the day I left you
You begged me to stay
And I swear when I came home
I was only crying more
Only breaking more
You must have thought it was easy
For me to let go
It only proves
How much you didn't know
About me
And it would only destroy us more
So I became
The villain in our love story
And like all evils
I lost
I lost you.

I still don't take your name
I don't tell her
And she doesn't need to know
Whose heart I broke
She doesn't need to know

You were my one chance at love
My only lover

She doesn't need to know
That you were
My only hope
In this bleary dreadful world
Before you became her prince

She doesn't need to know

That if I say so
Even today
You'll come back
To the old abandoned house
To me.