Dark Hidden Secrets - Erwin Smith x Reader

Chapter 2

I've been here for about a month now and every passing night, I find it harder and harder to sleep. I don't know if it's because I wasn't as tired as I thought I was or if its because I was just worried. The scouts have returned from their last expedition a few days ago and there had been so many injuries. This is my first time treating scouts straight from an expedition. We were all racing against time to save lives and we managed to keep most of them under control but sadly, a few others didn't make it. It broke my heart to see those soldiers pass away even after I promised that we will save them. I never thought that I would break a promise as big as this one. It still kills me inside, I just can't get over the look on their faces when I had given them hope.

I also remembered giving the reports of the soldiers to the Commander and when I entered I saw that Erwin was in there with him. The Commander didn't look the least bit pleased when he saw the stack of reports from the medic, he looked like he didn't even want to see them, but it was part of his job after all. So I handed him the reports and went back to the infirmary. I was able to steal a glance at Erwin and in my eyes, he looked pretty exhausted. Not like physically tired but emotionally. He looked as if he hasn't been sleeping well these past few days. I wanted to check up on him a few hours later to see if there's anything I could do to help him but my gut instinct told me to just keep it to myself.

It's been 2 days since I've last seen him and I just hope that he's doing okay. I don't know what he's feeling right now but I can only imagine how stressful it is to be a soldier in his position. I mean yeah being a nurse for the scouts is stressful, but not as stressful as leading a group of soldiers to fight titans head on.

The more I think about it, the more time I waste staying awake and I really need to get some rest. Today was already tiring enough as it is and I'm pretty sure tomorrow is going to be just as tiring. We have to check up on the soldiers early tomorrow to make sure that they take their medicines and eat well so they can regain their strengths.

I close my eyes and try to get some sleep but all I see is Erwin's tired face, it just kills me to see him like that. Ugh, what is wrong with me? I need to stop thinking about him already. So what if I want to help him? If he wanted my help then he would've asked me a long time ago, right? But then again, why hasn't he? We are friends after all, and friends help each other out. Or maybe he doesn't want anyone to help him. But to conceal your emotions like that just makes you feel worse. Well if I'm really that concerned about him then I'll go see him tomorrow, maybe it'll help me get some shut eye.

So I finally turn over and close my eyes. After what felt like an hour later, I still haven't fallen asleep. Ugh, ok so if not going to be able to sleep then maybe a drink of water would help. But it's already past curfew and if I get caught wandering around I'll get in trouble. Eh screw it, I can't sleep anyways so I'm going to go get a cup of water and then come back. Since it's a long way to reach the kitchen, maybe the exercise will help me fall asleep faster.

I put on some shoes and a coat and quietly leave my room. I check my surroundings just in case there are some soldiers on duty. But to my surprise, I didn't see any.

I finally reached the kitchen and I look around and see if I can find a cup but sadly for me, they were all on a high shelf. Ugh, why did they put the cups so high up? Maybe I'm just too short for a person my age. No, I'm pretty sure they do this on purpose so they don't find dirty dishes the next morning. I can't blame them, I bet this isn't the first time someone tried to sneak out past curfew to get a quick cup of water. But I'm not that mean, I'll just carefully reach for one, drink my water, wash the cup and then put it back before anyone notices.

So I try and reach for the cup but it's just too high. And then I remembered that I saw some stools just down the hall. So I go get one and walked back to the kitchen. I put my knee onto the stool but when I put my weight on it, the stool was wobbling. And my fear of falling doesn't help either so I just decided that I shouldn't risk it over a cup. So I take my knee off the stool and I grab it to put it back where I found it but before I turned around, I heard a deep voice coming from behind me.