Dark Hidden Secrets - Erwin Smith x Reader

Chapter 8

I have been helping Erwin with his paperwork for about a week now and let me tell you, I. AM. SO. DONE.

I didn't think so much paper could make your life so miserable. I've worked with a lot of paperwork so I thought this would be a breeze but its like the pile never gets small. Erwin would excuse me probably around 2 in the morning, knowing that I have to be up for my shift at the infirmary. I have never felt so exhausted in my life. 

However, the good thing about it is that Erwin has told the doctors to let me report up to them at 8 am. Giving me an extra 2 hours of sleep has been a HUGE help on my end, but getting 6 hours of sleep still isn't enough. I would still wake up mentally exhausted and completely groggy, but I guess its better getting 6 hours of sleep instead of 3.

Even though I could sleep in a bit, I still couldn't help but wake up around the usual time. Instead of using the extra 2 hours to sleep, I just lay down on my bed and just stare at the ceiling, wondering if I made the right choice in joining the medic team for the Scouts.

*BANG BANG BANG*

"You have 45 minutes to report up!"

I groaned before I sat up to stretch my bones. Feeling my joints and spine crack normally relaxed me but now, they just feel like reminders. Like they tell me that today is going to make me even more tired than yesterday. 

I slowly get up and wash my face before changing out of my sleepwear. I then use the remainder of my time to get some breakfast so I wouldn't work on an empty stomach. 

I would go about my day in the infirmary, making sure the soldiers take their medication, eat their food or drink the amount of water that they need. Whatever the case may be, its the same thing that I usually do every day. Then at around 8 pm, the doctors I've worked with would release me for the night, and I would make my way up to Erwin's quarters.

_________________

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

After hearing him say "COME IN" I entered and closed the door behind me. Erwin, as always, is looking over the paperwork that I had separated for him last night that he doesn't look up to me.

You- "Good evening Erwin."

Erwin- "Good Evening (Y/N), I apologize for my rudeness but I must get most of these taken care of."

You- "Yeah...I understand that.."

I then make my way towards my desk and start the paperwork that I had left from last night.

As I was separating the paper work, I would steal glimpses at Erwin and notice how much he resembled his father. I mean I haven't seen the man ever since I was a child, but I bet Erwin thinks about him every day.

Erwin- "May I ask why are you staring at me, (Y/N)?" 

I suddenly snapped out of my thoughts and went back to the paperwork.

You- "Um...S-sorry Commander....Its just that....You look so much like your father."

I could see Erwin's movements have ceased, as if he wanted me to keep going.

You- "Um...I wondered...do you miss your father, Erwin?"

Erwin just looked down at his paperwork before sighing. 

Erwin- "You remembered my father?"

I heard a hint of sadness in his voice, did he not want me to mention him after all?

You- "Of course I do, why would I forget about him?"

Erwin- "........"

I suddenly felt regret wash over me, I should probably apologize before he decides that the paperwork isn't enough of a punishment anymore.

You- "um.....I'm sorry if I have upsetted you Commander."

Erwin took a deep breath before turning to face me.

Erwin- "I am not angry (y/n), its just been a while since I've thought about my father."

You- "I see....he was such a good man."

Erwin- "....indeed he was (y/n)."

I didn't want to push the conversation any further so I just decided to just finish my end of the paperwork. It hasn't even been 5 minutes before Erwin decided to break the silence.

Erwin- "....I'm glad to hear that you didn't forget about him (y/n), it means a lot to me."

I looked up at Erwin but he didn't look up from his paperwork, so I just did the same.

You- "I could never forget such a brilliant man."

I saw Erwin's lips curl into a small smile from the corner of my eye and I couldn't help but do the same.

I have never seen Erwin smile throughout my time here, I mean I've seen him smile, but never out of happiness. Most of the time he smiles but his eyes just read either sadness or seriousness. Just this time his eyes were different, but that glint vanished almost instantly when I finally decided to turn my head towards him.

Darn, but oh well, I knew he had a lot going on his mind so I just decided to just keep my mouth shut and continue working on the paperwork.  

_________________

(3 hours later)

I suddenly felt my eyes getting heavier and heavier by the second. How long has it been? It feels like I have been here longer than usual. Ever since Erwin has smiled it has been nothing but silence. Usually we would talk every once and a while but today I just let him focus on his work. 

I was so close to just letting my head fall onto the table but I suddenly felt Erwin place his hand on my shoulder.

Erwin- "I think you've helped me long enough (y/n)."

I nodded and get up from my chair, Erwin doing the same. I push my chair in and we both make our way towards the door. Erwin placed his hand on the doorknob but didn't turn it, instead he turned towards me.

Erwin- "Thank you for helping me (y/n)."

You- "um...you're welcome, though I don't feel like I'm really helping you since I am still being punished."

Erwin suddenly stepped closer to me and he put his hands on my shoulders. I thought he was going to tell me something but instead he leaned down to kiss my forehead.

I just stood there with my eyes widened. 

Erwin kissed my forehead. 

HE kissed MY forehead. 

The only thing running through my head was WHY?!

I never thought Erwin could ever show this kind of affection towards me...or anyone.

I just thought Erwin was too busy to even think about feelings like this.

Not that I didn't mind it of course but I just wondered what made him want to do this?

Erwin then backed away to open the door from me.

Erwin- "I'll be out by the time you come again tonight, so you must ask Levi or Hanji to let you in."

I nodded and made my way back to my room. The whole time I was just thinking about Erwin's lips on my forehead, would he do it again? I hope so.