Payne.\\ L.P.

30

"Hi. Um I want to transfer out, so can you please take me through all of the steps? I'm sort of in a hurry." I said in a hushed voice so my mother and brother wouldn't hear me.

UCLA was my dream school and I wanted to go there ever since I was 13 to carry on my family tradition, but LA is not the place for me right now. Maybe in 5 years but definitely not now.

"Well Ma'am, I suggest that you call the college you are planning to go to and get what you need to do from there. It just has alot to do with transferring your college credit, but the first thing you have to do is get transferred out of your dorm. What's the number for your dorm?" The operator carefully aproached my question.

"276."

"I will send the transfer papers as soon as possible. In the mean time, contact the university that you want to go to and see what to do from there."

"Oh alright. Thanks for your time." I sighed and fiddled with my hands.

"Sorry that I couldn't help much." The operator sympatheticly ended the conversation.

I hung up and flopped down on my childhood bed.

Everything came crashing down after I met Liam. I knew I shouldn't have let Macy talk me into going to that stupid meet and greet.

But maybe I should stay in LA just to show Liam that when he hurts me, running away isn't an option.

But the only reason that he is in LA is for me. Well, hopefully, he will go back home to England, go on tour, or something because he is no longer in use.

I need to clear my head. I can't fall back into depression over a shitty boy.

"Emily? Want to talk about it?" My mother knocked on the door and spoke softly through the door.

"You can come in if you want, but I don't really want to talk about it." My voice was really monotone and uninviting.

She came in carefully and closed the door behind her, in caution of Eric.

"I'm thinking of transferring out of UCLA." I sat up and met her eyes in the process.

"Why? That's your dream school." She looked confused and concerned. This is not the only time I let a boy run me out of a school and she shouldn't be surprised if I tell her the actual reason now.

"It's a frustrating and complicated story." I sighed and looked down at my hands.

"Hun, we have all time in the world. I just want to know what's going on since you ran into the house in the middle of the night, red eyed and very put of breath." She chuckled and placed a hand on my knee, her eyes pleading me to go on with the story.

I took in a deep breath and told her all that needed to be said. From when I met Liam at the meet and greet to when we went to England. From when he cheated to when he kicked me out of his car. From when Chase came back to when I pushed Liam and ran out of the hotel room, and finally, to my decision to transfer. I even told her things from the past that I didn't remember until I met Liam and where the scars on my body actually came from. All the flashbacks made me shed a few tears and my mom made varies of gasps during the most disgusting parts.

My life has never been this fucked up and I honestly wish I could change who Liam is, but no matter how much I try or he may try, he is still that man who raped me in an abandoned building.

"Babe, Why didn't you tell me all this happened? I mean, I know you are a grown up and your business is your business but wow, this is a lot to take in." She rubbed the back of her neck and I released a relieved breath. That was a heavy burden the I held since day one.

"I didn't want you to think less of me. Are you disappointed?" I did not want to hear the answer cause' if I were her, I would be very disappointed. It is not great to hear that your daughter can not survive her demons, known as, Liam and Chase.

"I am upset that you didn't tell me this earlier, but you can not control what happened to you. You can control who you date, but you didn't know what harm they could do to you." She sincerely looked at me and I nodded.

"A boy crazy teenager does make stupid decisions." I laughed and made my mom laugh in the process.

"Trust me. You are not alone." We calmed down our laughing and I looked at the door. "What about Eric?" I was scared that my younger brother would think I'm some whore that loves being abused by her boyfriends.

"That's for you to decide." She pulled me into a hug and I gasped from surprise. "Em. I love you and will always love you, no matter what may happen." She rubbed my back and sniffled.

My mom never cried in front of me or my brother because she always said she didn't want us to think that she was weak. My mother is strong and I wish I was that.

"Let me get out of your hair before I cry any more." She chuckled and proceeded to the door, closing the door behind her.

Liam's POV

Em has been gone for a day now and honestly, I think she is just overreacting. Ok, I said some hurtful things to her, but she should be used to it by now. I mean, she should know how much of a prick I can be when I'm angry.

After all that stuff went down, Chase went back home to fix things up with his parents, but now, I'm stuck with One Direction.

I've tried calling her but she doesn't answer. I actually don't blame her because I know I maybe have taken things too far and know she probably is in Mew York by now.

"Mate, what do we do now? Tour starts in a week." Harry questioned me and stared at me intently.

I forgot that the Where We Are tour was just a few weeks after our last show. Management meant business.

"I guess we could all go back to England then. I need to give Emily space and I'm sure we all want to see our families before we go on tour again." I sighed, knowing that I may never get Emily back again and will slowly slip back into my old self.

Harry pulled out his phone and typed at an extreme speed. I assumed he was checking the flights. "The next flight leaving for London is Monday."

"I guess we will have to find something to do until then." Monday was two days away and without Emily around, I'm going to be bored out of my fucking mind.

"The other boys wanted to go see the 1975 tonight. You up for it?" Harry's eyes pleaded for me to agree. I need this. Emily needs to stay out of my mind for at least one night and they are one of the coolest band in history.

"Cool. Call them and confirm." I got up and went to grab Zayn's lucky cigarette pack. It is time for all my problems to be puffed away.

Harry was calling my name but I ignored him and went out on the balcony. I pulled the lighter out of my back pocket and lit the roll, taking in a lot more than I expected but it felt relieving. I blew it out right as Harry appeared in front of me to smack the cigarette out of my hand.

"What the hell was that for?" I yelled at him, making sure the whole block could hear me.

"What are you doing? You're killing your self."

"I don't need caring for, Mate! I fucking fucked up and hurt the one I love the most, so maybe I do need to kill myself." This came out more as a desperate cry than a self defense mode. No one has ever seen me more distraught and I didn't plan for it to ever happen.

"Listen. We have all fucked up. No one is perfect, your job is to get Emily back and never let her go. You may have been a fucked up person back then, but so what? Change the tides and show her what you can become."

Harry placed his hand on my shoulder and I sighed.

He was right. In order for me to get anywhere with Emily, I need to open my eyes and see who I actually want and need to be.

A kind, gentle, loving man is what I want to be. Not a prick that hurts everyone around him five times a month.

"Let's go in to get ready." He took his hand off my shoulder and walked back into the hotel room with me following. This better help heal the painful opening wound of loosing Emily.