Fight To Live

(OLD) Chapter 9: Story (OLD)

Ethan's POV

"After all that we went to war with a group called The Saviors. Their leader, a man named Negan, killed a lot of our people. The three groups, The Kingdom, The Hilltop, and Alexandria fought back and we were doing very good. We had almost finished off Negan and The Saviors, but they launched one last desperate attack on Alexandria while everyone from all three groups was there. Everything turned to absolute chaos and, at least as far as I know Carol, Ezekiel, Enid, Shiva, and I are the only ones who made it out... There... now you know why I am the way I am." Carl finished his story, he was crying and his eyes were closed.

I could feel myself break inside just from hearing the story, and he had gone through it. I felt tears falling from my eyes.

"Carl... I... I don't even know what to say... I'm... I'm really sorry you went through all that. I know that me apologizing doesn't mean much, but its all I can think of to say." I said as I scooted closer to him and and put my arm around his shoulders, his head was bent and he was looking at the bed, watching his tears wet the blanket.

"I don't like talking about all of that because it puts me in a state of vulnerability, to other people, but also to myself... since Alexandria was destroyed and almost everyone I cared about died I've been having horrible thoughts... I've been thinking about killing myself... just ending everything... the pain... the suffering... all of it. The only thing that's kept me from doing that is my dad's final wish... for me to lead the survivors to a new life... I'm completely and utterly broken." He said as he leaned his head over on my shoulder.

"Carl, please don't do that... I know life sucks, it's awful in almost every way. But the only way things can get better is if we fight, and keep fighting no matter what. Fight for all of the people you've lost, because they're still with you. Fight for the people that are still alive. I know what it's like to be broken, when this started I went through a lot to. I was actually going through stuff before this started, I've been going through stuff my entire life." I said.

He told me his story, its time I return the favor, if he wants to hear it that is.

"What do you mean? What kind of stuff?" He asked through a sniffle.

I guess he wants to hear. Well, here I go.

"My mom was married, but her husband wasn't my father, that's why we have different last names, I have my mom's maiden name because her husband wouldn't have me take his last name. He had been on a very long business trip and my mom was taken by a... disgusting monster. She was missing for almost an entire year, and in that time the man that took her raped her and got her pregnant. When she was finally found she wasn't alone anymore, she had a baby with her... me. Her husband hated me for it, however unreasonable that was, and as I grew up he abused me all the time. It wasn't until I was in fifth grade that he was arrested for abuse. My mom had finally had a chance to call the police one day, he had threatened to kill both her and I if she called, and he always kept her close so he could make sure she didn't try, but she got away from him and managed to call. Anyway, I was just starting sixth grade when this happened. My mom and I got to Houston where there was supposed to be a safe-zone, one that was quarantined and protected by the military. We stayed there for a while and made several friends, as well as met up with my mom's brother and his family, a wife and three kids. But some of the dead got in somehow, and the safe-zone became a killzone. There was so much death... my mom, uncle, and two of my cousins, as well as a nineteen year old named Sophie got out. My aunt and one of my cousins got separated from us in the escape and we eventually found them both as walkers a few weeks later. We all survived for a while, and we had gone up into Oklahoma without realizing it, there we found the Osage Indian Reservation, where we met another member of our group, William. We all stayed on the reservation for a little over a year, and then it got overrun, we lost my uncle and one of my remaining cousins, both got bit and we weren't able to save them. Those of us who survived the reservation were on the road for a few weeks before we ran into a couple of survivors, Tony and a woman named Karina, their group had been wiped out and they were the only two survivors. We traveled back south and settled down in Rosedale, Oklahoma. There we were able to live in relative peace for almost three years, we had built a community just like how you described Alexandria, and similar to what happened to you, we got attacked by another group. They killed many of our people, and they took Sophie and Karina hostage. We went on a rescue mission only to find that Karina was dying, but she had gone down fighting and had killed quite a few of the people that took her and Sophie. Before she died she told us that they had just taken Sophie somewhere, she had no idea what they were going to do to her, and there were twenty three people left. We went after them, but my mom made all of us stay in the car we had taken to find them, and she went to get Sophie on her own. A little while later they returned, Sophie was wearing nothing but a long robe, and she was beat up, bad. Apparently the group tried to rape her but my mom got there before they could, and she killed all of them. We made our way back to Texas, now only my mom, Sophie, Tony, William, and I left alive. We decided to go to Austin after a while, and when we got there William died saving Sophie's life, and the rest of us tried to find a way out of the overrun city, but Sophie got swarmed by walkers and we couldn't save her. Tony got separated from my mom and I, and we later found him holed up in a restaurant, with a bite on his hand. We cut it off in an attempt to save his life, and it worked. We headed for Dallas, hoping we could find another place to live on the way, and that's when we met you guys." I said, telling him everything I had gone through.

"Holy shit... that's terrible. I guess we have a lot in common, we've both lost a lot, and been through a lot." Carl said.

Yeah, I guess we have. We do have a lot in common.

"Yeah, yeah we have a lot in common. And I made it through, I know you can to. The pain, the heartache from all the loss, that will get easier, it'll never fully leave, but it will get easier, I promise." I said.

We both stayed quiet for a while, then Carl moved his head off my shoulder, as if he just now realized it was there and was surprised by it.

Awe... why'd he move it... it kinda felt nice having his head there... I don't know why... but, it just felt... right.

"Well... we should get some sleep, we could have a big day tomorrow depending on what we decide to do about Damian's group. Uh... yeah... goodnight." He said as he laid down, turned and faced away from me, I soon heard him snoring.

Carl's POV

I quickly moved my head off his shoulder as I thought about a bunch of stuff, strangely though, killing myself didn't come up in my thoughts like it so often does.

  Oh my god! Why am I feeling so weird?! And why the hell did i have my head on his shoulder?! I didn't even realize I had put it there! Wait... why didn't he move my head from his shoulder earlier?! UGH! What is going on? Why do I feel like I have butterflies flying around in my stomach?!

I laid down and turned away from Ethan because I didn't want him to see the surprise and confusion on my face.

  "Well... we should get some sleep, we could have a big day tomorrow depending on what we decide to do about Damian's group. Uh... yeah... goodnight." I said, trying to make it sound normal, but barely keeping myself from stuttering.

What... Is... Going... On?

I fell asleep thinking about many things. But suicide wasn't one of them for once since Alexandria fell.

Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I know that it was pretty much all backstory stuff, but I hope you enjoyed anyway.

Oh!

Carl isn't having suicidal thoughts anymore! At least not right now. Yay!

Question Time!

1. What do you think about all the stuff Ethan went through before he met Carl?

2. Whatever do you think could be going on with Carl? 😏

THANKS FOR READING!