Confusion. // Jyrus

Chapter 15

When we walked into The Spoon, I saw Amber with her high school friends at a big table. I felt myself drift over to her, and she looked up at me before running over and giving me a hug. "Oh my gosh, what's wrong?" She asked into my shoulders. The tears in my eyes finally fell into hers.

Over my sobs I heard one of her friends snicker, saying, "Hey, Amber, Is this your gay ex?"

I looked up and detached myself from our hug, seeing where the voice had come from. Kip.

"Kip, that's not what I said," Amber started before I cut her off. I quietly said to her, "You told them?"

She looked over at me, her face red from embarrassment and tongue-tied. " Well, it just kinda slipped out," she mumbled, playing with her hands.

Kip laughed again before standing and walking towards me. His tall build towered over me and he looked down at me with a crooked smile. He pushed me backwards and I stumbled back into Cyrus. Amber ran in front of him, throwing her arms onto him, asking him to stop. Cyrus had caught me from the fall and I was still leaning on him. I pulled myself off of him before turning and leaving the restaurant. I ran down the street, wiping my eyes and my nose on my sweatshirt sleeve. I heard Cyrus call my name followed by him running over. But, I ran faster so that he wouldn't be able to catch up.

My feet pounded on the pavement and I could hear the sound echoing in my head. I could still feel tears streaming my face and my nose running, and I kept wiping my face on my now drenched sleeve. I kept looking back, making sure Cyrus wasn't there, and sure enough, he never was.

When I got to my house, I threw the door open and ran past my mom into my room. She called after me, but I ignored her and slammed my door behind. I threw myself onto my bed, and buried my face in my pillows. I kicked my shoes off and pulled my knees to my face. I now allowed the tears to fall and I sobbed. I cried out, thinking that my life had just crumbled. I had drawn so many people towards me, and they just left me. Ugh, my head ached.

I walked out of my room and into the kitchen to get water, and my mom was sitting at the dining room table with my phone in her hand. She had her hand drawn to her face and had tears in her eyes as scrolled. I felt the anger boil up to my throat and the word, "Mom," escaped from my lips in a screeching voice.

She wearily looked up to me as she rose from her chair. "Jonah..." she said, reaching her arms out to me.

I grabbed my phone out of her hand and stomped into the nearest room, the bathroom. She followed me, knocking on the door. She pleaded for me to come out to her and talk about it, but I just yelled at her back to leave me alone and I fell against the door. I unlocked my phone and saw the hundreds of messages she had been looking at. Amber apologizing, Cyrus, Buffy, and Andi providing support, and my classmates bashing me. I felt the anger come up again and my arm threw my phone across the room. I pulled myself up from the ground and dragged my body towards the shower, lazily throwing the water on and turning it to hot.

I peeled off my clothes from the day and stepped into the shower. The water washed everything from the previous day off and the steam surrounded me and cleared my clogged thoughts and stuffy nose. I let the water seep into my hair and I cleared the bad thoughts from that day. Once I was done, I wrapped a towel around myself, not drying myself, and went to the sink. The mirror was coated in a layer of steam and I wiped a circle with my hand and gazed at my reflection. My wet hair was sticking to my face and my eyes had bags under them. I grabbed my clothes and my phone from off of the ground before heading out. My mom sat on the ground across the hall from the door and rose when she saw me.

I stared at her while she asked, "Are you alright?" before I turned past her and walked to my room.

"Jonah!" I heard her yell as I slammed the door.

After getting myself dressed, I climbed into bed, slowly drifting off to sleep. I woke up when I heard a knock at the door. I opened my eyes and saw my mom open the door with a plate of meatloaf and mashed potatoes in her hands. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. I heard the plate get set on my nightstand along with a glass of water. She leaned over and gently kissed my forehead before leaving and closing the door behind her.

I waited a few seconds, making sure she had left, and I rolled over and sat up in my bed, turning on the lamp on my nightstand. I sat with my back against the wall and ate my dinner, watching disk trick videos on Youtube.