Confusion. // Jyrus

Chapter 12

When I got to Andi's apartment, I heard music coming from inside. I felt a wave of relief knowing I wasn't early. I walked inside and several heads turned, smiling at me. They greeted me, waved, and I quickly movies into the kitchen. This house was much smaller so it was invite only and not a lot of people were there. I glanced over to the table and saw Cyrus standing by the chips. And beside him was Walker.

Frickin frick. What was he doing here?!

I felt my face heat up and I turned and quickly walked into the living room. I saw Andi and Buffy laughing with Bex and I made my way over.

"Andi!" I called and she turned her head over at me. "Walker's here!"

Her expression fell. "What?"

Bex stuck in and asked, "Who's Walker?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Cyrus' boyfriend."

Bex's eyes bugged out and she stuck her face into her cup. She mumbled, "Oh," into it's content.

"And he's an absolute douchebag and tries to make Jonah jealous," Buffy continued.

"Why would Jonah be jealous?" Bex asked, completely ignoring that I was standing right in front of her.

"Because he likes Cyrus," Andi replied.

I frantically looked around and shushed Andi. "You can't just say it out loud!" I yelled.

Bex looked at me and asked, "Are you gay?"

This time I actually yelled, "No!"

People turned and looked at us before forgetting it and returning to their festivities. I leaned into her and whispered in her ear, "I think I'm bi?"

She smiled and clapped her hands, saying, "Congratulations!"

Buffy trapped my arm and pulled me to the center of the living room. "What are you doing?" I yelled over the music.

"We're dancing. You need to have fun! Show Cyrus what he's missing out on!"

She led me through many dances, and for a few minutes, I didn't care what I looked like. I just. Danced. We were laughing and just having fun, something that I hadn't seemed to have a lot of recently. I kept getting stressed of upholding my "Jonah Beck" title, and I wasn't having fun with anything. Being around Cyrus and Walker made me frustrated, Frisbee wasn't as fun without Cyrus and Andi, and I have too many fake friends. Being around Buffy made me forget everything bad about my life and she showed me how to let loose and finally have fun.

We went into the kitchen after who know how long of dancing, but all of the food was gone. We just grabbed some water and stepped back out into the living room. And there was a slow song playing.

My eyes drifted over to Cyrus and Walker standing in the middle of the room, their arms wrapped around each other as they swayed. I felt my mouth drop open and my heart fall as I watched Cyrus place his head on Walker's shoulder and held him tight.

I didn't realize there were tears in my eyes until Buffy pulled me into Andi's room. My head felt like it was in a cloud and all that I could hear were my own sobs and Buffy's gentle hushing. I fell to the ground, covering my face, and she sat beside me with her arm around me.

I didn't realize how much I wanted it. I wanted someone to hold me. To love me. Amber had always told me that she loved me, but those were just words. I needed someone who would be there and never leave me. Buffy listened to everything that I cried out on distress and she kept listening and providing support. We decided to not go back out to the party and we just laid on Andi's floor, ranting about our pathetic lives. Where we were going from here.

Once everyone left, Buffy and I walked out and started helping Andi and Bex clean. They didn't ask any questions about my flustered face and even helped calm me down before my mom got there.

I should tell my mom.