Wanderlust

10/02/18

Time 00:04

Its back

The feeling.

But I'm numb this time.

I cant feel anything.

I look in the mirror and see tear stains on my cheeks.

Crying?

How long had i been crying?

The voices are still here.

Saying real words this time.

"Leave"

"Your not needed"

They say.

Are they right?

Maybe.

Should I listen?

Definitely not.

I'm shaking.

I'm not cold.

Panic attack?

Maybe.

I cant breathe.

There's no air.

I need space.

I've got space.

Not enough.

The light I see is my computer screen.

Darkness is surrounding me.

Drawing me into it.

Maybe I need help after all.

No.

I can't have help.

Weak?

Of course.

I was right.

Something happened.

I hoped it wouldn't.

I knew my head would do this.

Headache?

Always.

Everything's spinning.

I don't understand.

The shadows are dancing on my walls.

Why am i crying?

Not sure.

Heartbroken?

Not at all.

I wish someone would hold me.

Tell me everything's okay.

But I don't want to see anyone.

Thoughts?

Too many.

All noises are louder.

The noise of typing is irritating.

I want to make it stop.

Make time stop.

Make people stop.

Make noise stop.

Distraction?

I need one.

Distraction from what?

The voices.

The noises.

The people.

The thoughts.

Everything.

Tears aren't falling anymore.

Is this it?

Has my head finished for the night?

Ready to give in?

Forever?

Hopefully not.

I need space.

But space will most certainly kill me soon.