The Accident: Based On A True Story

Chapter Thirty-Nine

I tossed and turned the entire night. Feening for, not drugs, but my razor blade. For the control I finally felt from it that was, like everything, taken from me. I have a few more days before I have to go back to school but I'm dreading just thinking about it.

I went downstairs to get some water. I was planning on making a nutella sandwich but every single knife is gone. Instead, I grabbed my bottle of water, a spoon and the entire jar of nutella.

"Hey, you.", David said from the couch as I was about to go back upstairs.

"Hey.", I said as I walked towards him. " She lock you out of your room too?" He smiled.

"No, no. It's easier for now until I can actually get up the stairs without this piece of metal.", he said referring to his wheelchair.
"Take a seat. I won't bite."

I smiled and sat in the chair across from him where he laid on the couch. Cracking open the jar, I began eating it.

"Couldn't sleep?", he asked.

"Nope. You?", I replied.

"Nope."

"You know Sarah loves you, right? That we both do.", he said.

"Yeah.", I said with uncertainty.

"She, like all of us, is handling it differently. Even if it's not in the best way."

"Yeah, I know... David. I'm-", I started saying before he stopped me.

"Don't do it. Casey. Casey, look at me.", he said and I did. " This, none of this, was not your fault. If it wasn't us, it would have been someone else. It was out of any of our hands. Especially yours."

My eyes filled with water. I didn't want to speak because I knew I would start crying. He struggle a bit but sat up.

"Come here.", he said noticing my pain and I did. As he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, "You're one of the reasons I didn't give up. You are as much my family, my daughter, as anyone could be. Knowing that at least one of my kids, you, made it out of there, saved my life. Saved my will for wanting to live."

I started balling.

"I miss them so much. I'm a killer. I just-", I said without finishing because I couldn't. I broke down in his arms. Crying because I blame myself, because the feeling of loneliness has taken over me... Because this talk just made everything more real.
And at exactly 3:03 AM, I fell asleep leaning against Davids shoulder who fell asleep as well. He, unlike Sarah, knew more about that day than anyone else besides me. He was there.

I woke up around nine in the morning, slightly stiff from the way I slept. I suppose that happens when you sleep on a couch scrunched up. But it was the first time in awhile that I woke up feeling like I got some rest and without some sort of hangover.

"You slept down here all night?", Sarah asked as she satin the chair across from me. I chose not to answer. David then woke up as well.

"Okay. Well I need to see your arm.", she said.

"Are you kidding?", I asked, half awake.

"No Casey. I'm not.", she replied.

"I haven't went anywhere.", I said.

"Can we not argue over this?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm going to my room.", I replied as I got up and Sarah did too. " Oh wait. I can't. I mean the guest room."

As I turned to walk to the staircase, I felt a hand grab my arm as my sleeve was lifted up.

"See! Nothing!", I said as I yanked my arm back. " Can I go upstairs now?"

Sarah said nothing. I took it as a "yes" and went upstairs.

My door, I checked, was still locked. I figured it would be but I was hoping it wasn't.

"How am I going to change if all of my clothes are in my room?", I said from the middle of the staircase after going back down. I could tell that Sarah understood at least this problem. She agreed to unlock my door to grab some things.

As I went in, I grabbed as much as I could. I didn't know iuf she'd lock it once I'm out or what.

"What is that?", Sarah asked. Referring to the sheets covering Ryan's stuff.

"Nothing.", I replied.

Sarah looked confused or sad or.. I don't know. But it was apparent that she felt something.

"Why is -", she started to say. She was going to ask about the sheets.

"I'm done.", I said as I cut her off and walked past her with clothes in my hand. I could have grabbed more but I wasn't looking for a conversation. Especially with her.

I took my stuff to the guest room, shutting the door behind me. I cracked the door to see her standing by MY room looking in. It wasn't until a minute or so after that I watched her shut my bedroom door and lock it. I made sure to close my door before she noticed I saw anything.