The Accident: Based On A True Story

Chapter Twenty-Five

I learned my lesson. Don't come home unless it's after school hours or the weekend.

"So do you have any plans for the future? A family? A specific job you want to have?", Carmen asked as we sat in her car eating Taco Bell.

"I wanted to be nurse. Like my sister. I always liked the fact that you can get paid for helping save other peoples lives.", I said while taking a bite of my plain bean and cheese tostada.

"You wanted to be? You don't anymore?", she asked.

"I don't know. At this point, I just want to get any job that pays decently so I can get far away from this town. From this state.", I answered.

"What are you running from?", she asked.

I wasn't sure how to answer that.

"I'm not saying you are. It's just that usually people who want to leave so badly are either running or are searching for something.", she added.

"I guess I'm searching for a fresh start. Where no one knows me. None knows my past.", I say as I take a drink of my Pepsi.

"I get that. I kind of want the same thing. My parents want me to live by whatever plan they set out for my life since birth. I just want to be me and be happy being me.", she said.

After a couple minutes of us finishing our food, I asked, " Hey, do think we could get some coke?"

"Right now?", she asked.

"Yeah. Why? Too early?", I ask.

"Girl, its never too early. Let's go.", she replied. Starting the car, we drove off.

......

Unbeknownst to me, Mrs. Bowen, my school counselor, showed up at my house today. Luckily, neither me nor Sarah were there. That, however, did not stop her from leaving a not on the door for my sister that I discovered after Carmen dropped me off.

"I'll text you later. We're going to a club tonight.", she said.

"A club?", I asked.

We're all underage except for Liam who's 18. But even then, he still has to be 21.

"Yeah, its totally fine. Bryan's dad owns the place. They'll let us all in.", she said. "You coming?"

"Why the hell not.", I answered.

Carmen smiled and said, "Sweet. See you tonight."

"See ya.", I said back, closing the car door.

Walking inside, I took the note from the Counselor off the door.

It reads:
To whom this may concern,
Casey has had excessive absences as of recently. Knowing the circumstances of the recent tragedy, we would like to schedule a day to speak with you as well as Casey.  Please get back to us as soon as possible.

- Judy Bowen

I quickly ripped it up and threw it in the trash making sure other things cover it.

Upstairs, in my room, I begin searching for what to wear to the club when the picture frame, of Ryan and I, falls out. Tears filing my eyes, I just wish she was here with me right now... She's not though. She won't ever be again.

To deal with this, to be okay, I know what I have to do. I have to pay a visit to the one thing that has been consistent in my life... My razor blade. With a glide of it, blood begins trickling out over older cuts. As I focus on the pain that I just caused myself, it makes me feel alive. Bringing me back to a place of the living and away from the one of the merely surviving.

Anther small slice and it happens again.

*Slam*

The front door just shut. I hurried, through on my jacket, and his the blade where its been since I started all of this.

"You're home.", I said while walking down the stairs.

"I live here too, Casey.", she replied as she put her work bag down.

Everything she says, every smart remark, or attitude that she has, affects me less and less now. There's only so many times someone can get hurt by the same thing or same person before just giving up on it.

"Did you hurt yourself?", she asked.

Confused, I answer, "No, why?"

"You have blood on your jacket.", she said.

I look down and notice that the jacket sleeve on my left arm started soaking up some of the blood from the cuts. Thankfully, only a small amount.

"I must have hit it on something.", I responded.

Quickly moving past it, she said, "Eric wants to take us out to eat tomorrow night. I won't be there but I already told him you would be. I have to work.", she stated.

"Well you can tell him I won't be there either.", I mumbled under breath as I started walking upstairs.

"Excuse me?", she replied.

"Nothing Sarah."

For once, it would be nice if she asked how I was. I'm tired of people asking me that question but she hasn't even asked once.
I can't wait until I'm at the point where I don't even care anymore about it. Not the accident but her. I fucked up and I know that. But she makes sure that I know by treating me like some stranger.