The Other Side of Me

Chapter 35

-ELEANOR-

        She likes him, He likes her... Everyone knows except them.

        At some point,you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. The fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.

        He's my wonderwall; Someone you find yourself thinking about all the time, the person you are completely infactuated with. But in my case I'm completely inlove with him. cue on 'and after all,you're my wonderwall'

        But sometimes, walls can be broken, and hammered into pieces. My wonderwall was broken. I was a wrecking ball that hit him so hard.

        "Harry, can I talk to you?" I asked Harry, but he's ignoring me. I feel like I'm talking to a door. "You can talk now, I'll listen, but I don't want to see any of you" he sighed. I'm not sure If I can do this... But still, I took a shot.

        "H, I'm sorry if they're blaming you. I talked to Liam, and he's really sorry that he blamed you too. and uhm... I'd like to thank you for being there with me through it all. Do you hear me Harry?" I uttered, I hear him chuckle on the other side of the door.

        "Come in." He said and and we cuddled each other. "Thank you H, I will always be one of your bestfriends" I cooed. Now I have to talk to Louis, He's gonna get an earful. He's an ass. and I loathe him for lying to me. I depended on him all this time.

        I saw him, at the couch, with an ice pack on his right cheek. Gemma's talking to him. I cleared my throat so I can catch their attention. "Oh...Eleanor" Gemma muttered. Louis looked at me obviously embarrassed. Well, he should be.

        "Can I talk to you for a sec?" I asked Louis and looked at Gemma. She excused herself for us to be alone even just for a minute or two. "What do you want to talk about?" Louis questions as if he doesn't have a clue on what we'll talk about.

        "You know what it is Lou, first off, you lied to me! I asked you after that night, because I vaguely remembered what happened, and you said we didn't Lou, you said we didn't! and being this gullible slut, I believed you!" I cried. I made crying one of my daily hobbies. And I'm so exhausted.

        "El, I'm so sorry. But..." he's explaining, I don't want to hear anyone's opinion right now. "Please stop talking. Fuck... Gemma said that you fell inlove with me?! Lou! You know it's impossible for me to fall inlove with you! Never in a million years that it'll happened. It will never happen! Please take a few steps back and try to realize how deluded you are, to even think of falling inlove with me!" I bellowed.

        "I just want you to know how much I despise you right now, Lou. The deal is off. I'm breaking up with you. I can no longer pose as your girlfriend. and call me when you grow up, okay, Peter Pan ?" I spit. Leaving him confused and shattered.

        The next thing I knew, I was infront of Zayn and Niall's hotel room. Still thinking if I should knock or what. I have to talk to him. I don't want to end things AGAIN. Sometimes it's too exhausting going back and fotrh to a phase where someone's a wreck and someone will court the other. I'm tired of everything.

        as I was about to knock. I saw Mikey and Calum, who are about to go to Niall's. "Hey, El. you coming in?" I beam at them before coming inside, it's now or never.

        "Niall? Where's Zayn?" I asked Niall, whilst hugging Cal. "He's in his room, but I gotta warn you Ellie, he's not in the mood. He's in a best mode, so... try to be patient" his accent boomed through the whole room. "I will, thanks Niall" I uttered, before going inside his room.

        "Babe?" I glanced at him,he's sitting at the foot of the bed, he's crying which is unusual, he's just a wearing a tank top even though his room was too cold. "Go away, I told you I don't want to see you" he grunts. I just want to hug him right now.

        "I won't go away, I want to talk to all of you right now" I told him. "All of us? Who? All of the boys you had sex with?" he snaps, ouch that hurts.

        "No, well, I talked to Liam, Harry, Louis and I want to talk to you" I stated. He finally looked at me with an insulting smirk, but he still looks attractive in my eyes. "why'd you want to talk to me? You've been gone for five months, I mean... I don't know El, you're bipolar" he spat. Again, ouch.

        "I explained to you everything, I thought we're okay!" I cried, his eyes are trying to burn a hole on my face. "We were okay, I don't know. This is crazy, I mean, Louis' my bestfriend!" he reasoned out.

        "yeah, that's why you smoked pot with him" I mumbled. But I guess he heard, his eyes went wide. "W-what did you just said?" he frantically asked. "I knew that you smoked pot Zayn! Everyone on twitter's going at it!" I lied, I really haven't checked my twitter for months. But I think it's true, I mean their fans are better than FBI's.

        "You're no good either." I snapped at him but then i realized, I shouldn't be getting mad at him. Deep inside, I love him and It'll never change.

        "At least I never slept with your bestfriend!" he bit back. "You know Zayn?I came here so we can fix this. Please, I want everything to be fixed" I stated.

        "Do you think we'll still be okay after all this? El! Can't you see how fucked up our relationship is!? It's sadistic as fuck." he yelled,causing me to take a few steps away from him. 

        "We made it work Zayn! and now you're telling me that our relationship is twisted? C'mon. It's just one stupid mistake! Do you think I'll do it again?!" I divulged. "Do you know how devastated I am right now? I'm very disgusted at you right now!" he shouted at me.

        I've had enough of it... "Am I disgusted at you for sleeping with lots of women? Do I judge you for shagging every woman you see before you and I dated? No, right?! Because I accept you for who you are. I've had only one mistake, and I didn't even knew that! So please, don't come clean because you're as appaling as I am." I cracked.

        We stayed silent for a few minutes, before he came up to me and kissed me,I smiled while we kissed.  "I missed kissing you" he mumbles while we're kissing. I stopped for a moment. "yeah,it's so much better when you stopped talking." he said with a raspy voice that makes me shiver.

        "Wait, Zayn. I want to know... what are we?" I asked, looking at him sincerely. "What do you want us to be?" he asked back.

        "I want to come out. I don't want us to be a secret." I sighed.