The Other Side of Me

Chapter 9

-ELEANOR-

I've always wanted to know how the feeling of being a celebrity even just for a day,I want to know what's the feeling of people taking pictures of you and with you...

and now,I want to live my life to the fullest,without people judging me,without people talking sh*t about me,without anyone telling me what to  do.

"I have to do this,I'm sorry" I told Zayn when he went to our flat,when he visited Bradford.

I'm crying infornt of him,not looking at him.I don't want to end things up with him.I really dont,but he doesn't know how to handle a real relationship like ours,how to give and take.

"Why?I'm doing everything for us to work,and you're breaking up with me?" he cried,my eyes were glued to the ground and I don't want to face him,to be honest.

"Because you don't know how painful it is to see you with her!It hurts to see and to realized that you're already falling for her!" I told him, "I'm not falling for her,El,I love you,and you know that,right?" he asked "Okay,so tell me,why are you looking at her the same way you look at me,then?" 

He cleared his throat before answering me, "Because I think of you when I look at her,I imagine that you're her,I imagine that I'm 'engaged' to you and not to her,It's always you,you're my everything and I thought you know that!" 

My eyes lights up as I heard his words that soften my heart,his eyes were telling me that he's sincere and he means everything that he's saying.

"If we're meant to be,we'll find a way back to each other.You will wait for me right?" I asked him,hugging him and burying my head on his neck.

His scent is so addicting,I feel like I'm in heaven,to be honest.it comforts me in a way that I know that he's here for me forever and always.

"I want to break the contract" I said,his eyes widen in surprise and mine,too

"How about Louis?you can't leave him just like that!" he told me,I'm doing this for him and not for myself only. "Are you not happy about it?I mean,I'm doing this especially for you!" 

"But he's the one who's making our relationship work El,and you can't break the contract they will send you to jail,and I don't want to visit my girlfriend in jail" he said, I blushed as I heard the word 'girlfriend' coming out of his mouth.

"Are you sure you will not get married to Perrie?" I asked and he nodded, "I want your family to know that I'm your girlfriend and not her,I want to be close to your sisters too,I want it to be me,why can't it be me?"

I made him some dinner,he's going back to Bradford at midnight,I want to spend every second with him because it'll be weeks again before I can hug him again.

"I'll miss you" he said to me,I kissed him on his cheeks.

It was one of those days when it's not snowing but it's frigging cold outside,and you have to wear like 5 clothings so I can be warm...

Everything that I do,I feel like it involves Zayn.

I really think that all I talk about is Zayn Zayn Zayn,and I feel like some of my friends are getting sick and tired of me blabbing about him,and I wish I can stop it but hell I can't.

"El,We're going to the library,wanna come with us?" Emma asked,and I packed my things so I can go with them and I have to study for this Calculus test which I hate,but I need to pass so yeah.

We're walking with Talisha and Alana and some people were looking at us like we've done something very bad. We kept on looking at each other maybe we have something funny on our faces.But no,we don't have anything or whatever.

We passed by a news stand and Talisha stopped as she picked something up. "Uhhh,El,I think I know why people from our building kept looking at us...well you" then she gave me a magazine and I'm on the cover with Zayn! Oh my god.

ONE DIRECTION ZAYN MALIK WAS SEEN HOOKING UP WITH LOUIS TOMLINSON'S GIRLFRIEND,ELEANOR CALDER.

and there's a picture of us hugging and I was laughing,I dropped the magazine and the vendor looked at me and recognized me.

"Shit" I mumbled and I told the girls that we should get going and we better hurry before something bad happens.

"How did that happened?" Alana asked and I shrugged,I better say something before they hate on me again.

I opened my twitter account because it's the best way to let their fans know that nothing's going on between us.

Eleanor Calder @EleanorJCalder

Hi everyone,just want to let everyone know that there's nothing going on between me and Zayn we're just really close and he's happily engaged with Perrie so don't send hate please . xx

I pressed send and I swear I almost cried, 'happily engaged with Perrie'

My friends smiled at me and I told them that everything will be alright,I really need a cigarette right now,I know 'Louis' helped me stop smoking but I'm so mad right now and I don't know what else to do.

The next thing that I want to do besides smoking is playing some piano and I don't even know where can I play because we don't have a piano on our flat even a keyboard.

After our library session me and the girls went to some diner nearby to eat our dinner,we didn't noticed that it's already past 7 because we're so focused on our subjects that we're reviewing.

Alana called our friends who's not with us at the library...Max,Ella,Portia and Leon.

"It's been so long divas!" Max greeted us and we hugged each other,for sure,after this dinner we'll head to the nearest club.and shit,I have to tell Louis that I'm going to a club,if ever.

We ordered and we chat for and hour or so.I haven't noticed that there's a piano there but no one's playing it.I went to the counter and the waitress recognized me.

"Oh my god,you're Louis Tomlinson's girlfriend right?Omg,I'm a directioner and I really really love you two!" the girl shrieked and I just smiled. "Uh yeah,that would be me,ermmm,can I play the piano if it's okay?" I asked and she went to the manager,I think and she came back smiling.

"He said you can play!I told him you're Louis' girlfriend!Are you going to use it?" she asked and of course I said yes. then she accompanied me all the way from the counter and to where the piano is placed.

"Thank you so much..Alexis" I said,reading her nametag and she shrieked again,I can't help but to laugh at her actions because she's too cute.

Come on skinny love just last the year

Pour a little salt we were never here

My my my - my my my - my my my my - my my ...

Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

I remember the time when I played this on Niall's guitar and Harry caught me,that was the time when I was so unsure of what's happening between me and Zayn,I don't know what's happening between us anymore.

I told you to be patient I told you to be fine

I told you to be balanced I told you to be kind

In the morning I'll be with you

But it will be a different kind

I'll be holding all the tickets

And you'll be owning all the fines

When I know deep inside that this relationship of mine with Zayn is not a good idea,I knew it from the start,I'm just blinded from my love for him that I don't know what's the right and the wrong thing to do.

Who will love you? who will fight?

And who will fall, far behind?

When I know that I already fell really hard for him,when I already knew that I'm the one who's fighting,when I know that I'm the only one who's giving all the love that he needs.

That's when I knew I already lost.