The Other Side of Me

Chapter 45

-ZAYN-

        Can I just look at her all day?

-ELEANOR-

        He's looking at me, Do I have some dirt on my face?

-ZAYN-

        Great, now she's getting a little irritated, she just rolled her eyes at me.

-ELEANOR-

        I-- Oh my god, he will think that I'm getting irritated. I didn't mean to roll my eyes at him. It's-- I don't know why I did that.

-ZAYN-

        Should I talk to her so she won't get all creeped out?

-ELEANOR-

        I should go talk to him. I'm a nice girl and I should do nice things.

-ZAYN-

        "Hi" she says.

-ELEANOR-

        "Hi" I said to him.

-ZAYN-

        Everyone at camp is looking at us, inch by inch, our feet's dragging us to the center of the room making everyone very interested to look at us, to watch us and to know what's our next move.

        "Funny things always make the bad things go away" I mumbled. "What are you saying? I just said Hi and now we're talking about bad things?" she laughed as she touched my shoulder. Making it more awkward for us. Making everyone around us murmur.

        "Because It's awkward if we're just staring at each other, trying to get too close to each other. Might as well say something so It won't be that awkward" I reasoned out, she just grinned at me while still looking straight at me.

        "You really do know how to make things unawkward huh? day 67 and you're getting good at it. 33 more days.. Maybe you'll master it after" she replied.

        "33 more days huh? 67 days.. I've been telling you how beautiful you are but you chose to ignore that fact, everytime I tried to tell you." I told her. I can feel that there's something going on between us, but it's undescribable. It's unexplainable.

        "Well maybe I just have to accept the fact that you're telling me that and you must accept the fact that I don't believe that I am beautiful, maybe I am but I can't see it...yet"

        "Just kiss each other already!" Liam shouted, making everyone howl as they hear Liam. I just chuckled, they're so crazy. Like Eleanor will kiss me...

        "Should we?" she teased.

        "Nah...I should take you out on a date first before I kiss you" I held her hand as I talk. Hers was cold and mine's shivering. What was I thinking? Why did I grabbed her hand?

        "Okay! Break's over... Oh-- Hey, you two looked so sweet. I told you Ben, El's right for the part" Morgan says to Ben and we can all hear him because he's wearing a lapel 

        "Morgan... I told you, I can't do it. I don't know how to act... I don't even know how to sing! and I'm just here to help you two" Eleanor said. "Wait--what? I can't understand, can you walk me through it?" I said, and I'm obviously puzzled.

        "Please don't tell them?" Eleanor pleas. I signalled Morgan not to listen to El.

        "Tell me what?"

        "Eleanor--dear, I'm sorry but I think I should tell them. Infact I should let them all know... We were thinking of changing all the names of the character because you...You're not meant to be Elliot Clough because you're meant to be who you are right now" he explained.

        "The characters are based on real people and if you can't pull this off, why don't you make yourself the character?"

        "So you're telling me that I'm the leading man in this story? Well who's my leading lady?" I asked with a tone of excitement. I cannot believe that they trusted me on this one.

        "Eleanor" Ben blurted out. El's looking at me, she knew it already? "I-I told you Ben, I don't want to play the main character, Hell I don't even want to have a part on this story. I'm just a writer, I don't know how to pretend to be someone that I am not"

        "But you don't have to! You based this story on your experiences, you based the main character's life on you! This is perfect. don't you see it?" Ben points out. The man's got a point.

        "I don't know..I have to think about it.This is too big for me...Perrie..Perrie can play the part!o-or Danielle!or Sophia! But not me, please!" she sighs leaving all of us here. I feel like she's perfect for the part, why can't she see that? She's the only perfect girl in here to play that part.

-ELEANOR-

        I walked away like I've done some crime. Of course all of them were right about everything, I just  don't like to accept the fact that they're right. yes, it was my story. and yes, I wanted to play the part as Victoria Newman or...as myself. But what I hate the most is when other people judge me for what I do.

        I've been living in a world where all they do is criticize me,everytime. I feel like this was my safe haven, my sweet escape. I don't want more people to judge me for what I am doing, whether it's right or wrong. 

        "It's rude to walk out just like that" Perrie suddenly appeared, out of nowhere maybe?

        "S-sorry, I was just stressed this past week and it's getting on me real hard." I explained and I swear that even I didn't understood what I said.

        "You know what? I think you should take the role, you're so right for the part. I can never look at Zayn the way you look at him. and that's what makes the movie a good one... When you see that the girl looks at the guy as if he's the only person in the planet."

        "But I don't know how to act, I don't know how to sing... I don't know what else to do except write my life story and make it a sob movie, that's my job. and not fall inlove with the main character"

        "But you already did, right?"

        "N-no" am I falling inlove already? or what? No.. I can't be falling inlove with a guy who I've known for like months. It's not gonna happen, it didn't happen on Harry or anybody else, it will not happen to him.

        "You can lie to me, you can lie to everyone else, but please... Don't lie to yourself. You know too damn well on how you feel about him" she sweetly says before she left me again.

        I spent 67 days looking at him without him knowing that I am, I spent 67 days trying to convince myself that I'm just nuts and I'll never love someone. 67 days... I spent trying to force myself not to fall inlove with a person who I barely knew,which is a lie. I share everything to him but I just try to force myself to say that he's not gonna last long in my life. Eventually he will go, just like what other people did to me. Even my own family.

        Maybe 67 days is enough, maybe it's about damn time to show what I really am, not just to everyone but also to myself.