The Other Side of Me

Chapter 27

-ELEANOR-

Out of all people who could have ripped me into shreds,why on earth does it have to be Zayn?

"So?what do you think?" Gemma asks,as she folds some bedsheets for me to use. "Gemma Anne,you really don't have to do this.I'm okay!" I reasoned out,she just looked at,trying to say something.

"El,I'm doing this for you,okay?You need to get out of your system.on your comfort zone.It's just a break up El" she said. her voice is stern,she's looking at me firmly. I'm trying to find the right words to say to her.

"It's not just a break up Gem,he built what you're seeing in me right now" I told her,trying not to sound like a loser. "you know what I am seeing right now?A spitting image of one of my bestfriends,whose name is Eleanor Jane Calder,but the difference of El and this girl right infront of me?This girl's sad,she's lonely." I listened while she said that. I smiled at her before hugging her.

"Maybe I can pick up where Zayn and I left off?" I told her. Her smile turned into a serious one,she furrowed her eyebrows.I don't seem to understand her reaction.

"It's not always about Zayn,you should learn how to live a life without him.It's over between you two"she says. "I understand what you're saying Gem.but I love him,you know that right?" I told her trying to plaster a fake smile.

"I know,you know?something's very weird about Louis nowadays.He's like always out of his mind,he's like thinking of something really really big...I don't know,maybe you can talk to him!" she suggested.

Oh no,I haven't had a chance to talk to Louis,as I shut everyone out in my life.All of them,even the styles siblings.

"I don't have any news about them anymore,erm..I was more focused on my studies" I lied,but she knew me too damn well. She just smiled at me and went back to what she's doing.

I missed them,especially Louis.There's something I want to talk to him about.I really wanted to know what happened to us that night,why he ended up sleeping beside me,I was surprised that it's Louis.I thought I called Zayn,but I guess I didn't? I don't know.It's all a blur to me,and it's still a mystery.

"They're in Ireland right now,do you want to come with me when I go there?" she asked,her face telling me that I should come with her. "No,I'm fine.I'll go to the concert that they'll have in Manchester,I'm just not ready to face them.I need some more time." I reasoned.

"Don't you think 5 months is not enough?It's more than enough El!" she said to me,her voice was louder than it normally was.

"It's not enough for me,Gem.Sorry,but that's my decision" I answered back. Things are heated between us.

"El,please,think about it." she said.her voice was more calm now.

"I'm hurting,Gem.do you think I'll be fine when I see Zayn?I'll go back to phase one again!I can't even face your brother!Not even Liam and Niall!and Louis!" I yelled. She stepped back... "You're not the only one El!Jeez!You're making it seem like you're the only one hurting here!How about Zayn huh?Did you know that her mother was hospitalized that very same day you asked him to go to Cheshire?He's caught between his mum and you El!Don't make it seem like it's all about you!" She snapped.

I was taken aback by her words.I didn't know that.

"It's not always about you" she said,before she went out of the room that I'm supposed to be sleeping in.

Trisha was hospitalized?Why didn't he said so?I would've understand that.It's his mum after all,even though she hates me for being with Zayn,I still care about her,heck I care about everyone.But I never saw that I'm being so selfish.I'm self-centered.I made it seem like I'm the only one they should care about.

"Gem" I knocked on her door,and after a minute,she opened it.She was serious,not even trying to look at me.

"I'm sorry,okay?I've been so selfish in this whole situation,I forgot that there are other people around me,and I'm such an ass for shutting everyone down.I feel like I owe everyone who's actually giving their time and effort to me an apology" I said,hoping that she'll change her mood and accept my apology.

"El,I think someone's more hurt than you are right now,and that's Louis.I know I'm not in the position to blab things to you...But I think he had fallen inlove with you" she confessed.

"What?He can't fall inlove with me...I'm his friend.Like you and me,like Harry and I.he just can't fall inlove with me"I frantically muttered,my mind was swirling with possibilities and questions,is it really possible for him to fall inlove with me?

"Trust me,that was my reaction when I heard Louis and Harry talking at the balcony.I thought he was gay,to be honest" she said,I was about to laugh but glad I held my laughter back.Oh my god,is that why when we watched St.Elmo's Fire,he's really uncomfortable?

"I need to talk to him!I'm going with you Gem" I told her and I ran to the guest room.

I have to get everything straight,I did it little by little...I texted the divas,I aplogized to them,for being so self-centered and for being a bitch towards them,they don't deserve to be treated like that,especially by me.

 "I don't think that's a good idea" she furrowed her eyebrows,looking at me.

"It is a good idea!Just please don't tell Harry that I'm going with you.Wait,you can't tell everyone else!Not even Ash!" I said. pointing a finger at her,she just nodded while chuckling,I proceeded to my room.I texted everyone that was concerned of my situation.

I'm sorry if I was an ass to all of you,you don't deserve it.I'm making things right little by little.I owe everyone an apology.I promise I'll make things the way it used to to be. Thank you for being there for me always,and I hope you'll still accept me for who I am.

                                                                                                                                                 -Eleanor

I hope this is a good start,not just for me,but for everybody else.

I have to talk to Louis,and I have to get things cleared up with Zayn.My mind's getting all worked up again.I don't know if it's really a good idea,but I know that It'll make me feel better.

I closed my eyes,I was about to sleep.But my mind's wandering off,getting pretty excited and nervous at the same time.Tomorrows a very big day for me.