Before the Unexpected √ (Completed)

Chapter 23

I feel pain inside, I feel so much emotions, negative ones, I couldn't bare them, i couldn't keep surviving like this, they were getting too much for me to handle, I was trapped in the darkness with no light in sight, I kept walking and walking hoping to see a little spark of light but I couldn't find it and my demons weren't helping with my condition, they kept whispering that I will never find it and they'll make sure of it, I started believing them and it was killing me, eating me alive, my heart was hurting me so much, so fucking much.

Numbness started filling me, I had so many emotions inside of me, begging to be free, they were battling to be shown but they all died leaving nothing... emptiness inside of me, but then I actually saw a blinding light, I couldn't actually believe it so I ran toward it, he was the light for my darkness, he was the one who was helping me through everything, he was the one who made time for me and was there when I desperately needed someone, but that light started fading away slowly and I started loosing hope again, I knew it was my demons keeping there promise and doing the best they could to make that light totally disappear.

But what actually hurt me the most was trusting someone again and thinking that maybe I could have a better life than this shitty one but no guess I was wrong.

If that's called love then fuck it, he didn't even let me tell him my side of the story, I was actually starting to trust him and I was gonna open up to him thinking he was the one, the one that will stay with me no matter what, help me, be there for me, hear my story when misunderstandings happened but the harsh reality slapped me right in the face telling me to wake up already, that this wasn't a fairy tail.

It was now one in the morning, I decided to return to the dorm, I left a note for the boys saying that I went back to the dorm.

When I reached it and unlocked it, I went inside and directly went to my room, I was exhausted so I took sleeping pills to help me for the moment, I under my covers and layed there until I fell asleep.

The next morning when I woke up there was no one, Corbyn still haven't shown up from last night, it's true that we were on a very bad condition right now but nevertheless I was worried about him, where was he? Where did he spend the night? Did something happened to him?

Stop Melody! You shouldn't be worried about him! Did you already forgot those cruel words of his?

No of course I didn't but I'm just worried

Well don't be! Do you really think he's thinking about you at all?

Well... I don't know, what if he was?

you should really start being cold to others, you shouldn't let people just walk all over you, you'll end up being lost and hurt

But I'm tired living in the same shit every day, I want to be loved, I want to matter for someone, why can't I have this?

Stop you're overthinking , please don't do this to yourself, you're worth so much, you just need to find someone that will know your worth and that'll know how to deal with you because you're different.

But Corbyn I don't know there's something different about him, he made me feel so safe, like there was someone who cared about me.

Well let's just wait and see where the time will take us...

Today was sunday so I didn't do anything just laid there on my bed. When it was around three in the after noon I was writing my story when I heard the door unlock, thinking it was Jax and Zach I went to the door only to see Corbyn stepping inside, his eyes found mine but my face wasn't showing a single emotion, not to him, I wasn't an open book for someone to read.

So just like that I turned away from him and returned to my room. I thought I had written enough for today so I closed my laptop and started getting ready, I wanted to go out today so why not?

After I finished, I went outside my room and saw Corbyn in the kitchen struggling to make himself something to eat, now I remember clearly our rules "I was the one who should make food" so even if we weren't on speaking terms I should keep our deal.

I went inside the kitchen and started making him a sandwich and filled him a glass of orange juice, he was standing like a rock not moving at all, he was watching me, I placed his food on the table, looked at him one more time then went outside leaving silence behind me.

Yes i won't let them manipulate me anymore, I'll show them I'm not some messed up ball of emotions.

Well at least for now...