Fuck Me Or Fear Me

13. Fucked

Day 3. 10.30 am

I went up the balcony. Mornings are so beautiful than night. Sun is much more peaceful than moon to me. Everyone finds it weird that i love sun and wish to be in sunlight always.

This morning is really beautiful. But what's waiting for me in the night dreads me to the core. There is a very slight sound of cuckoos cooing and crows cawing. Sun is making everything glitter and there is very slight fog everywhere. Everything is so silent. So peaceful. Its such a distant place and there are no houses far far away. Its a farmhouse we are living at. Just the thought that I'll be lock here forever dreads me. Will i never be able to step out.

What do i do to escape

Should i just jump from here. He'll harm my family.

Hopelessly i went down my bedroom and scurried my bag to see that something might be useful. There are documents my ids some receipts pen safety pins pepper spray deodorant some makeup stuff sanitary napkins markers my cellphone.

I pick up my cellphone and even though i have access to the whole world i can still couldn't dare to connect with anyone outside. I even dont want to get to the Internet or any social websites to inform someone help me.

He might have bugged my phone. He might get access to everything i do with my phone. There are cameras installed everywhere around me.

I somehow go through my apps which i can use atleast. Music. Games. Books. gallery. Books might give me some insight but that will take a lot of time of mines. But then to i go through wattpad and searched escape from my kidnapper

There came so many listed books like  escape miracle escape phsycho kidnapper i went quickly through some and stumbled upon gun.

Gun yeah that would come in handy. He removed the gun from his back pocket. He might always have it there.

I go through my gallery see my friends family my workplace my old life which he robbed from me.

I go through my screens shots everything. Everything which might still make me feel that I'm in my home in my bed surfing through my phone but in the back of mind im searching for something which might help me plan my escape but nothing goddamit i get nothing.

I go through my quotes and see some quotes which doesn't help me feel better instead i only cry and i hate crying

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together...bullshit

There is always a reason you meet people. Either you need dem to change your life or youre the one who will change theirs

This is not going to help me. Its almost 2 now.  I throw my phone in frustration and decide to get down. What the hell do i do to stop this.

I take a full round of the floor i am on. Doors and doors and doors. Should i go throw his room. I tried but its locked. I went up the terrace again. Just trees and trees and trees. I dont even know where i am. Freak. Google map. I can try these.

I quickly hurry to my bedroom and navigate my location. Hill station i expected it. Something named as igatpuri. What kind of weird name is this.

I'm 150 kms away from my home and it will take me 3 hours to get back home. Fuck how did he do that. Ofcose he drugged me.

Even if i escape how will i get back. And i cant go back home. No i cant. I still dont have a full proofed plan.

No WHEN i escape not IF i escape. I get downstairs and see there is not one staff present in the house. I scurry through the kitchen and see the food is cooked and there is also a note on the refrigerator from my abductor.

I want you to have your food on time.

Bla bla wateva

The main door is locked but the windows are glass made so i can see pretty much everything from here. There are men and men everywhere outside. How will i get pass through them.

I huffed on the couch and was pulling my hair in frustration. No amount of information is helping me to escape from tonight what will happen with me. Its 6. God just 4 hours more. I need to get ready 😭

Even if he comes so what i can seduce him take his gun which might be there or might be not so i need to be sure that he always has a gun there. I can hold it as a weapon and get through out of the door.

Even if i escape he will go after my family. I need more time. I need proper planning and I'm hungry.

I have my food alone which i never do and think about the days mom used to feed me. She still does that sometimes. The dinner table would always filled with laughter and jokes and my brother bickering here and there.

Upstairs i decided to get ready and went for the closet and his demanded red dress. There was one hanging. The first thing i checked was the length. Thank god it was full length.

But fuck its backless. No fuckin way. The sleeves are full length but net. Even the front neck is deep.

I decided to go for silver accessories and silver heels. Fuck i hate dressing for him. And im dressing for the occasion of my rape. Can this get any any worse.

From the mirror I eye the contents of my purse still scattered around the bed and pepper spray catches my attention. Can just one pepper spray help me get my way. Dammit this is not even full and there are approx twenty men around me against one girl. I need something else. I need the gun too.

Getting in the shower i set the temperature on the highest speed and stand there burning myself as much as possible. When i realise my skin has turned red i scurry out wearing a bathrobe.

I half heartedly do a subtle makeup and blow dry my hair which turns out with more straight and more volume. I look at myself and realise I'm getting ready for a man.

Never have i done this before. Like every teenage girl even i had crushes and went out with a date or two but never had anything serious. I was not the boring type i always use to bunk college and hang out with my best frnds.

Party clubs trips were always on but boys. I guess what happened with me made me so rebellious and rude that i never let anyone in. That can come in handy as i will not fall for him neither will he.

Excuse me. You are just a guest here

I eye the phone at my table and decided to use it in some way.

I put on some music and it was soothing. I put it on repeat meg myers after you

I eye the clock and its 9.40. He can come in any moment. I'm done. I failed. Nothing can happen now

Getting up after wearing the earings i go for my dress which is kept on the bed. I dont want to wear this. I pick it up and as i was about to go in the closet i fucking hit a table at the exact same place wer i was hurt
Fuck fuck fuck

It didn't bleed but fuck every hair in my body stood up. I wish it would have bleed. I would have gotten another night of survival.

Shit

Fuck

A sudden thought came into my mind

Can i do this

No i cant

His threat ring in my ears

Think hundred times before doing anything stupid samaira

You know how much capable of i am hurting you

This will give me ample amount of time. But fuck if he finds out I'm fucked

Truly and utterly fucked.....