Fuck Me Or Fear Me

15. Something human

We were laying beside each other and he was not saying a word. God i want to know what's running in his mind.

" Say something " i pleaded

" what? how is this possible? " he yelled and i flinched. Is he dumb. I was gauging his reaction but he was just lost in his mind.

" huh. Well.... there are many myths and all stuff that a woman.... "

" i know that. I meant how now " he was now turned by my side and his whole body weight was on his left elbow. His gaze on me and i start feeling nervous. I hope he doesn't see my lie in my eyes.

" m....my date was der " i stuttered and he turned soft. He was pissed by the news i can tell that much.

" i dont believe this. " huh what. Shit he caught me. I'm dead now.

" i. I  i " he looked straight in my eyes and slowly he tucked my hair behind my ears from his right hand and i gulped my words. He was once again coming close to me and all the things which happened some time ago kept running in my mind.

" listen samaira i still dont mind you and...." he left his words lingering for me to understand and when i did i got angry

" Huh what. Are you fucking serious.   I do mind mr. Rehaan. The pain. The iritation. I'm not asking this time I'm telling you. I want you away from me for some time. " instead of getting pissed by my words more he was smirking. Is he mad.

He kissed me on my nose. Not just a peck but lingering his lips ther and i was getting goosebumps

He backed off before i told him to and ask  "  how many days? "

" 7 " i finally replied

" bullshit "

" 5 max " i instantly changed before he change his mind

" so that means i cant have you till 5 days " he says in a frustrated voice and i nod again.

" fine " oh god he agreed. He fuckin freaking finally agreed.

" as much as i love this smile on you i hate the reason behind it. " i didnt even realised i was smiling and speechless

He kissed me suddenly and the moment his lips touch mine i forget everything. I kissed him back so soon and was hating myself to give in so easily. His lips on mine is so relaxing i swear.

He closed his eyes while kissing me but jerked it open suddenly and was scrutinising not only my face but also eying somewhere he shouldn't making me feel totally uncomfortable

" what if you're lying? " i swear my heart stopped for a moment and just the thought of me lying in his eyes make me shit my pants. Just a shimmer of anger if I'm lying to him is evident in his eyes and that alone is scary.

I was speechless but i composed myself to shake my head and utter the words " I'm not "

" show me " what. How can a person make me go in shock at every 10 seconds.

" Are you serious? Or Are you out of your mind. Thats so disgraceful to think let alone do about it " this man is crazy. I need to go away from him. As soon as i got up from the bed maintaining distance from he pulled me on the bed and hovered above me

As i was totally not in the mood to tolerate his nonsense i was fighting wid him to leave me and he was fighting back to make me stay. For a bad 30 seconds i fought him but my struggles were futile. His both hands were pinning my wrists and his both legs were on either side if me which was totally uncomfortable.

He loosened his hold on my left wrist only to keep it on my left thigh. Holding both of my hands in one of his he was pulling my dress up and the moment i realised what he was planning to do i was shocked again.

I resisted him more strongly but he was now touching my skin and i was going numb from shock. That's physically assault.

My gown was totally up now and his hand was on my hipbone. So close. My heart was going to burst out of my ribcage. My vocal chords were totally gone. Everything went numb as his hand was just on my sexy black panties. I went numb too and i stopped resisting.

I stopped resisting him and he stopped it too. My eyes were closed. I was scared. Damn scared. Something warm was spilling out of my eyes from either sides.

There was no movement in my body except my tears weaving its way out on its own. He is about to rape me. I was dreading for his assault but there were no movements from his side too.

I can feel his hand there but it was not moving at all. I was so numb that i couldn't make myself to open my eyes but i dared to open that. And when i did i was shocked again.

The eyes which scares me to no core was looking at me with such softness that i could melt there and then. I blinked my blurry eyes to regain my focus but i was not mistaken.

He retrieved his hand from my legs and slowly loosened the hold on my wrists too. Both his hands which were assaulting me moments ago were now wiping my tears. 

He stopped coz i was crying. Seriously. I didnt plead i didn't fight. My tears stopped him.

Without saying a word he stood up and backed out of the door in just a moment.

For the first time i saw guilt in his eyes. For the first time i saw his mask fell.

For the first time i saw something human in him and there was also some pain. Some pain for someone close to him.

And for the first time i was sure that this man wont rape me at any cost.

4 july 2018 ( 2nd march )