Dark Red Rose (Tree Bros)

10

"Seniors, if you are going to take the end of year assessments early and graduate in two weeks, please go to room 126 now," I hear on the speaker. Three students stand up around the room, this is the class I have with Connor, he usually sits somewhere behind me, but I didn't check if he came in today.

For the next few days I start bumping into Connor a lot, I don't know if my brain is doing
it intentionally without letting me know or if he's trying to run into me or if it's just a coincidence, but it's weird. Eventually, Connor stops showing up at all. Zoe and Alana keep trying to hang out and talk with me, but I can't be with them because being with them means being with Jared, and I can't do that.

I end up with no friends and boredom all the time. So, what do I do? I start hanging out at the orchard, hoping Connor doesn't show up. I'm sitting under a tree reading a book when my phone buzzes, it's a text from Alana. I'm tempted to ignore it, but I'm intrigued. She has only tried talking to me in real life, not over text. If we have a secret friendship over text no one could know at school, so I can still avoid Jared. I read Alana's text outloud.

"Hey, Evan. This is not another sad attempt at trying to be your friend again, I know that's not going to happen," well so much for that idea. "I just wanted to inform you that Connor is no longer coming to school and he and Jared are dating. Good bye until you guys work this out, Evan." Wow okay. Did Connor drop out? I open my texts with Connor and write a short text asking if he has, then I remember the whole not talking thing and the whole not dating thing and shut off my phone.

I hear footsteps walking up to me. I look at the feet to see blue adidas. I stare up at the person in front of me. He has his arms crossed over his chest. Jared?

"Hey, buddy," he says sarcastically, "Dude, listen, I-"

"No," I open my book.

"I know you are mad at me, don't get me wrong you have every fucking right to be. I'm mad at me. But, I don't want to do this not friends thing, okay?"

"You seemed mighty fine with it until the beginning of this year. You forced it actually. We're just family friends remember, you just talked to me so your parents would pay for your car insurance. We're not even that now," I yell into his face, without a stutter. I slam my book closed and shove it into my messenger bag. I shove my hands deep into the pockets of my black hoodie, my dark sneakers stomping away from the mass of an idiot we call Jared Kleinman. Why do I have a messenger bag? Why do I have dark clothes? Is this hoodie actually Connor's? What if I'm still trying to hang onto Connor, even though I know he's gone from my life.

"Evan, wait," Jared jogs up with me. "Can I talk to you?"

"Whatever," I shrug him off, walking faster.

"Connor and I are dating, you know," he tells me, jogging a few steps behind me. "I just wanted me to tell you, I don't want to have any more secrets to break us apart even further."

"Jared," I stop walking, facing him, staring him in the eye somehow as I speak. "We can't break apart any further, we're far away ok? I'm pluto and you're the sun. If we got any closer, things would go to shit. I think that I knew our relationship was a time bomb. Mine and Connor's, not mine and yours. But, you and Connor are one now in my solar system brain, we can't get further, okay? Also, I can't trust you anymore, neither of you. You guys are just another bomb waiting to explode into my life. So just piss off and leave me alone."

Did I really say that? Did I really just yell that? At Jared? I keep my stare fixated on his face, hiding my weakness. I watch the tears sting his eyes.

"Fuck you, Evan," he pivots, running away, fast. As soon as he's out of sight. I let myself break down. I fall to my knees and let out a loud, much needed sob. You're my fucking stability and sanity, Connor Murphy. Please come back.

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IM SO PROUD OF THESE PAST NEW CHAPTERS AJDHSKKA LIKE OMG TY ILY ALL i didn't get to like a specific 'checkpoint' in votes or reads or anything but thank you all anyway. ALSO EVAN IS BECOMING MORE AND MORE LIKE CONNOR IN ATTEMPT TO STABILIZE HIMSELF BECAUSE AS HE SAID CONNOR WAS HIS SANITY AND STABILITY AAAAAAA SO MANY FEELS

also i need to bullshit some angst bc i don't have too much more planned for this book whoops DONT WORRY ITS NOT ENDING SOON WIDJKALAHDKA