Dark Red Rose (Tree Bros)

13

Evan's POV

Why am I in Times Square? What the heck am I doing here? I have school! I walk aimlessly through Times Square, bumping into people, gasping sorry's. I bump into someone tall, who doesn't immediately curse at me and stomp away.

"Sorry," I mumble, I try to keep my eyes focused on my toes, but I can feel their eyes burning holes through my head. I slowly lift my gaze to his face.

"Hi, Evan," he says, clearly shocked. I open my
mouth to speak but no words come out. Connor watches me up and down, assessing what I've started wearing. "Evan, please just be yourself."

I think of that on the train home that night. Evan, please just be yourself. Be yourself. But, who am I? The question bugs me all night, I lie sleepless in bed. Who are you, Evan Hansen? I'm that guy who just likes trees too much. I'm that kid who has no friends anymore. I'm that guy without a boyfriend. Those do describe me, but they aren't me. I think, I am me. That's it. I glance at the blue polo shirt folded on my chair. I can dress however I want, but I have to act how I would act.

I dial Connor's number. "I got it!"

"Evan?" He sounds sleepy.

"I got it! What you told me, I mean I did have to ponder it for, like, a billion years," I chuckle, I hear sheets move like he's sitting up.

"Ev, what are you doing awake?" Confused, I check the clock. It's 4:23 am. What am I doing awake? Then I realize, I called Connor. Why did I call Connor? He has a boyfriend. It's not okay to call him. It's awkward between us. How could I call him?! He must be so confused.

"I'm sorry for calling you, like this, Connor. Or at all."

"Evan, you know it's okay. We can be friends."

"No, Connor, we can't. We can't because... because I love you," I say. Instead I actually don't. Instead I hang up.

I wake up to Jared sitting at my desk. Sitting up suddenly, I rub my eyes and check again.

"Oh thank god! You're finally awake. I thought
you woke up at 5," Jared says.

"Not anymore, uh, I also fell asleep about half an hour before then."

"Okay, lets just get right to the point: you can't talk to my boyfriend."

"Dude, chill," I pull on a hoodie. "You have to leave me alone. I was at New York, I saw Connor there. He told me to be myself basically, I figured out that that was what he meant, and I called him. Impulse. I swear. I hung up on him."

"You hurt him."

"How did I hurt him?! He hates me! He must."

"He doesn't hate you, Evan. He wants to be your fucking friend, I mean, I don't want that. But, I want him to be happy."

"Let him dump you," I say. Why did I fucking say that?

"What the fuck?"

"He doesn't love you. He'll never love you like he loves me," I keep going. I don't know why, but I keep going. I scream. "Let me stop, please! I can't." I sob. Jared looks terrified. He runs out of my house, leaving me to break down on my own. I need someone to hug, to sob into. I need someone.

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i'm sorry these chapters are getting so short. i'm getting to the end of the story. BUT THERES GOING TO BE AN EPILOGUE oooOooOoOoo DONT WORRY THERES STILL MORE chapTERS WORJISKAKAOAPDUIS i'm sorry