Dark Red Rose (Tree Bros)

14

Evan's POV

I stuff a book into my back pocket and I run. I don't know where. I run. It's raining, pouring, but, I just run. My light blue t-shirt clings to my skin, soaked. I'm wearing the pants I always used to wear. I like the light colors. I suddenly feel nostalgic. I long to have Connor's hoodie wrapped around my blue polo. I want to curl up in a ball and cry. Tears slip down my cheeks. I find myself slowing at the gate to the apple orchard.

I stop staring at the rainy sadness of it. It's light out, but somehow it feels dark. I used to came here to heal. Now it just makes me hurt more. I push the gate open, my feet slosh into the grass. I don't care that my socks will be wet. I just want to sit on the grass and read my book. Water won't stop me. Mud washes off.

I stand, leaning against a tree. I open my book. My eyes glide over words, but my brain doesn't make sense of them. For once they're just lines and squiggles. Suddenly, I toss the book into the mud. I don't know how long it's been raining. I don't know how wet the mud is. But, to be honest, I don't care. I reach my hands up to a low branch. I finally get to use a non itchy left arm to climb trees. My cast is off. I don't know why I'm thinking of it... actually I do. The relationship between me and Connor pretty much started with him signing my cast. Well, I mean, close enough. Evan, shut up, it doesn't matter. I swing myself onto the branch.

I bring my feet onto the wet branch as I reach for the next one. For the first time I don't think I'm going to fall. But, for the second time, I don't care whether or not I do. I sit on a branch, finally. I didn't fall. I won't.

There is a life worth living.

Suddenly, I hear a scream. The voice seems familiar, but the scream sounds like the person was trying not to scream. Like they are trying to hide. But, the voice. I'm stuck on the voice. It's familiar. I know this voice. Suddenly, I realize. Oh my god, I realize.

It isn't. It can't be.

I practically slide down the tree. Running, no, sprinting, towards the direction of the muffled scream. I slip and fall. Getting mud on my shirt and face, scraping my hands. But, I don't care, and I get up and run. I run like I did before. But, now it's not to save me.

[TW: suicide attempt implications and mention of self harm]

I reach him. His bag hanging on the highest branch of the tallest tree. He's propped up against the base of the tree trunk. He let go. I notice fresh cuts on his wrists. Blood soaks the ends of his hoodie sleeves. A tear drops onto his face. Touching my fingers to my face, I realize it's mine. I kneel next to him. I dial 911, my knees are soaked with mud but that's the least of my worries. I pull his shoulder length, brown, hair away from his face, where it clung, wet from the rain and my tears. I somehow tell the 911 operator where we are and what happened. I press my hand onto his chest, feeling his heartbeat continue on relieves me. I didn't think of his neck pulse, I just care about his heart, and I need him to be okay.

I ride next to him in the ambulance as we drive to the hospital. I sit outside his room and I watch nurses and doctors hustle in and out of the room murmuring about him being awake. I hear his voice, he weakly asks for a phone. He calls Jared. He doesn't know I'm here, I realize. He doesn't know that I know he's hurt and he calls Jared. Before getting mad I realize that I'm not his first thought anymore. His "you can only save one from a burning building"
person is Jared, not me.

I stand up. My brain says no, but my legs push me out of the staticky dark blue plastic chair and into his room. "Hey," I whisper, hoping the heat I feel on my cheeks isn't showing.

"Evan?"

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wowow one more chapter sorry this book is really short