Heaven Can Wait

Chapter 7 Part 1

Jay

"Would you believe me if I said I'm in love
Baby, I want you to want me
Would you believe me if I said I'm in love?"

I had a good breakfast this morning complements of Nicolé. I must admit she can cook her ass off remind me of my moms. The french toast, scrambled eggs, shredded hash browns golden to perfection, and turkey bacon was on point.

When I came downstairs I was shocked to see all this food she prepared but I didn't see her. August was already down here grubbin probably on his third plate knowing him. We talked for a little bit I got up to put my plate in the dishwasher told him I'll be back later.

I got text from Dr. Brown earlier saying he sent a van to come pick me up and take me to the VA hospital for a session. I knew this time was coming around soon. We haven't talked in a while since my dates to see him kept getting pushed back.

After breakfast I took a quick shower and got . The old Jay was back with a sense of fashion again with my Jesus piece dangling from around my neck as always. It felt good knowing I was no longer in them dull scrubs looking like everybody else.

I heard the sound of a horn going off outside that must be the van. Grabbing my snapback I placed it on my head jogging down the stairs and left out the door. The sun smacked me dead in the face intensely beaning down. It was going to be a beautiful day minus the heat. VA always had nice weather besides the heat waves.

"You must be Mr. Cole?" I nodded my head getting in the van. "Well good morning. Dr. Brown sent me to pick you up and drop you directly back at home after you are finished." He backed out of the driveway heading out the gated area to the street.

It didn't take him all but about twenty minutes to get to the hospital. We did get caught in a little bit of morning traffic that didn't last long. Stepping out of the van the driver walked me inside the building and watched as I made my way to the front desk. Dr. Brown wasn't playing about us being supervised I thought to myself.

I checked in with the clerk she gave me a visitor pass and told me to go down the hall make a right there are the elevators. Following her directions I got on pressing the 6th floor. The bell dinged indicating I was at my destination I trotted off the elevator proceeding down the hall.

She didn't give me a room number so I was left reading the names on the doors. Some of these doctors had weird last names you can tell they weren't black. I made it to the last door at the end of the hall that we slightly propped open. This must me be his office looking above my head I saw his silver name plate on the wooden frame. I raised my hand and knocked four times before stuffing it in my pocket.

"Come in." His deep voice amplified from the other side of the door. I pushed the door open stepping inside. He was sitting down organizing some files. I cleared my throat taking off my snapback and waltzed to the chair in front of his desk.

"Mr. Cole my man long time no see."

"Yeah since somebody wanted to keep rescheduling my sessions." I said jokingly.

"Sorry about that but there's a reason for everything I do. But I figured you didn't need them as much as some of the other patients." I nodded my head.

"Why you want to see me now?"

"Since I kind of know what two people in the house want to do in addition to recovering I felt we needed to discuss what you wanted to do." I scratched the back of my neck thinking about it for a second.

"You know what I never really thought about it. Before my life took a toll in the wrong direction I never looked into anything else. Wasn't nothing on my mind but her." I said truthfully he knows what went down why I'm here in the first place.

"Alright I'll give you a little more time to think about it give me call once you do so we can arrange something."

"I got you."

"Before you go let me ask you some questions if you don't mind?" I shook my head no.

"Might as well while I'm here."

"Do you remember back to our last conversation?" I sat there trying to remember what we talked about. My eyebrows knitted together in process thinking then it finally clicked.

"Yeah you was asking me where I saw myself a year or two from now."

"Mhmm. You told me that if it all worked out in your favor and everything back on track you'd do your best to make ends meet and show how you changed."

Shifting in my seat my focus remained elsewhere but giving Dr. Brown eye contact. I don't know why but every time I talk about her my whole demeanor change. Lord knows I miss shawty but I need to get better first before I even think about talking to her again. I hope she can forgive me. I'm a born sinner God didn't make all of us perfect but I want things close to normal as possible and right between us.

"I know it's going to take some time and a lot of forgiving. I'm not ready to face Vashtie yet."

"How often do you think about her?"

"Man you wouldn't believe me if I told you but every time I close my eyes I see her beautiful face. Perfect cheek bones, smooth ebony skin, surrounded by her curly hair. I never go a minute without thinking what we could've been."

"I'm regretting ever putting her through what I did. I admit I let anger take over without being responsible for my actions. That day I tried apologizing but my sorry fell on deaf ears. When she couldn't look at me in the eye anymore I knew I fucked up."

"You need to give it time and let her decide if she wants to have anything to do with you." I sighed folding my hands together leaning against them my elbows rested on both knees in deep though.

"I'm going to take your advice Dr. Brown hopefully I see progress. I trust you since you are after all certified and probably helped someone in a far worst predicament than me."

"That's all we been doing taking it one step at a time. I can't discuss patients I helped before but no matter what they're going through my job is to get them back on their feet and well. I would say this those who were admitted into my institution I never seen one of them return."

"Aight so if I keep going at this rate and prove to you I'm recovering I'll be released soon?" He nodded his head.

"But you have to show me. Actions speak louder than words Mr. Cole."

"Okay you got a deal then doc." I stood up dusting off my pants. Dr. Brown walked from around his desk. He gave me a firm hand shake with that I left out of his office heading back to the main floor.

I'll keep what we talked about in mind. I wonder what I'm doing in addition to me recovering. Is there anything else I really want to do? I pondered on the question until the elevator doors opened.

Nah I want Vash back and that's exactly what imma do get her...