Made For • ZDH & JMRF *DISCONTINUED*

Chapter 20 : The Past

Jonah's POV

2 years ago - Stillwater, Minnesota

"What do you mean?" I stared at her, shocked.

"Jonah, I'm trying to tell you this without hurting you." She explained.

"Without hurting me?! Robyn, I love you."

She shook her head. "If I said the same thing back, I'd be lying."

"But what about-"

"It was all bullsh*t, Jonah. Are you really that blind?" She looked me straight in the eye. "I started seeing Connor not long after we started dating and I still am."

"So for two years you've been playing with my mind, playing with my feelings- cheating on me overall." I said, raising my voice. "I gave you my everything. What did I do wrong? Was I not good enough?"

"You're not the person for me. You're...Jonah. You're boring. All you do is talk, sing, or follow me around. Sure, you have some good qualities but-"

"I can change." I mentioned.

"No, you can't." She took a step closer to me as I looked up from my feet.

"Then why did we even start? Did you do it just to get in my f*cking pants? Was it all just for f*cking sex, Robyn?!" I asked, heartbroken. "Answer me please.."

"I was just... messing around. I gotta go, it's getting pretty late." She pouted. "Bye bye, Jonah." She smirked as she turned around and walked off. I watched her until she disappeared out of sight and into the darkness.

Robyn's words were on repeat in my mind. She wasn't affected by what just happened one bit. I was foolish enough to not notice what she did behind my back. Blinded by love. Every night, every kiss, every "I love you", was simply thrown away.

"I can change.."

-

Present Day - After school

Somedays my mind would wander and I would start thinking about what happened in Minnesota, especially that day when Robyn, my ex, broke up with me.

I try not to think about it but when I do, it reminds me to either not make that same mistake or hurt anyone the way she hurt me, emotionally. After Robyn and I broke up, I was determined to change myself into someone I wasn't, just to fit her expectations.

So the next night I got my friend to hand me my first bottle of beer. Robyn drank alcohol all the time, contributing to her "badass" image. Sometimes whenever we were alone together she'd try to get me to try some but I was too much of a wimp. I thought would not only make me "cooler" but it would also help me drown away my feelings for her but boy, was I WRONG.

I ended up coming home late some nights feeling drowsy and tired and would wake up with a pounding headache. Nobody noticed at first until my friend, the same one who I convinced to give me some, noticed that I grew more grumpy and stopped doing things such as playing the guitar or baseball. I felt insecure and judged for doing the things I loved.

Not long after, my parents also noticed that I was acting different. My dad got suspicious one day and came into my room only to find a few cans of beer. Thankfully, before I was in too deep and it became something awful and sickening, Dad somehow got me to explain what the hell was going on without getting awfully mad.

Over the past year, he helped me get over any leftover feelings for Robyn. Without alcohol. Even though I wasn't dealing with addiction, it was still an awful feeling. You feel low, saddened and just... empty. As if you have nothing. Absolutely nothing.